MeanDonnaJean's Stinkin' Thinkin' III

Case Closed

2011-11-02T18:07:00.000-07:00

The Mount Vernon Police Department has officially closed the case of my dear friend, Maryanne's, death dating back to November, 2009. I'm sure I musta mentioned it here at the time, for she had just gotten married to another dear friend of mine (who was also one of my ex's), Jimmy, the year prior to her passin'. Jimmy himself died one year ago, so they are both together again in Heaven. I know they are both restin' in peace, finally.

Jimmy and Maryanne Bibbo on their Wedding Day, October 24, 2008

Anyway, once again I went over to the PD on Monday to see if anybody would gimme some kinda status report on her. I was lucky enuff to meet up with a very kind, sweet (and very young 'n handsome!) detective who was willin' to bring me into his office to gimme me all the details. Apparently, the official cause of death was an overdose, notta homicide as the crime scene had appeared. I'm not gonna get into all the specifics of the case cuz it really don't matter at this point in time, but what I will say about it is that I am finally relieved to know the details and the truth of what happened to my sweet girlfriend.

I can rest peacefully now as well.

Temptations

2011-10-30T06:48:00.001-07:00

Hmmmm, I just realized that title may have thrown ya off a bit.

I'm not talkin' about temptations per se.

I'm talkin' about THE Temptations. THE R&B group I grew up listenin' to. A bunch of guys whose sweet music has outlasted most other groups for the last 5 decades or more.

Yeah, I know what yer probably thinkin'. MDJ listened to The Temptations??...and she actually called their music "sweet"? Yep, truth be known, I reckon I'm gettin' soft in my ol' age. Well, I KNOW my BODY is gettin' soft in my ol' age (which is another topic for another day) so I may as well match my musical preferences to my body :-)

But seriously. A few days ago I was online buyin' up a storm of stuff for ME and ME alone. Normally my son ALWAYS talks me into buyin' somethin' or other for HIM but I decided it was MY turn, so that's exactly what I did. My first stop was Zappos. A long time ago I had saved a bunch of shoe favorites at their website and I decided that I was gonna finally just do it and buy the darn things. So I ordered me a pair of snow chukkas along with a pair of flip flops (from one extreme to another, that's ME). While I was there I threw in a pair of $170 boots for the kid. Old habits die hard I reckon :-) $400 later and I was done. At Zappos, anyway. And then I headed on over to Amazon.

Oh yes honey, I also finally bought me somethin' that I've wanted for a long long time. I've hinted, pleaded and begged (Ain't Too Proud To Beg!) for years that I wanted one, but I never got any bites. Wanna know what it is? It's a binocular biological microscope....WITH a mechanical stage no less! I can't wait for this sucker to get here. I'm gonna scope everything 'n anything I can get my swollen boxin'-glove-like hands on. Of course, once I bought that I hadda also buy some glass slides and cover slips to go along with it. Can't use a microscope without 'em, rite? Oh okay, I'll confess. While I was settin' up that order I also threw in a Norelco electric shaver for the kid. Old habits REALLY die hard, I know. But I was sick 'n tired of lookin' at that wolfman face of his! He's SOOOO damn lazy he don't ever shave. Pitiful. But I'm gettin' off track here...and I just so happen to be listenin' to The Temps "Cloud Nine" track as I type this. Hmm, that shoulda been my effin' Theme Song :-)

And that's where The Temptations come in. As I was perusin' Amazon's website, I came across a shitload of MP3 album downloads that were only $5 each! (yeah, I'm still a cheap bitch when I wanna be) and saw a few that I wanted to add to my ipod collection....and The Temps was one of 'em. I also got Sheryl Crow and Heart at the same time. God, I love them Wilson sisters.

While I was on a roll I also threw a few of this and a couple of that into my shoppin' cart. A whoppin' grand later and I was done. Until Christmas, that is.

Lord help me.

So now that I've got ya in a Ball of Confusion :-) I'm gonna end this here cuz I've gotta go watch The Sopranos in a few. I'm not all THAT soft yet ya know ;-)

New Link

2011-10-12T17:44:00.000-07:00

Dunno if ya noticed or not but over on the left side of this page is a new link which'll take ya to a website called The Hart Island Project. This is a project which my daughter has been workin' on for quite a number of years now and it is very near 'n dear to her heart. She has worked tirelessly on this project nite after nite and well into the wee hours of the mornin' and has shed many a tear over it as well. But the good news is that she's soon gonna be interviewed about her involvement with the project by the good people over at LoHud - The Journal News, which is the lower Hudson Valley's/Westchester County's local newspaper. Dunno when this interview is gonna take place or when it'll be aired but I'm sure I'll know soon enuff.

Anyway, I'd love for ya to make a quick visit over to Hart Island (via the link, of course....cuz as you'll find out once ya get there 'n do a bit of readin', hardly anybody is allowed to go over there anymore) and see what's been tuggin' at my daughter's heartstrings for all these years.

Warning: visitin' this site and learnin' about this project could be somewhat of a tearjerker...especially once ya check out the film.

Disclosure: If ya happen to be a New Yorker or have/had a family member/friend who once lived & died here, this may be of more interest to ya than ya think.

Caligirl

2011-10-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

Cali has left a new comment on your post "My Lazy Ass":What the hell happened with the damn jury duty??????? You kinda left us hanging.Posted by Cali to MeanDonnaJean's Stinkin' Thinkin' III at October 7, 2011 10:46 PM Holy crap Cali, yer right! I did. Sorry about THAT, too. Okay soooo, about the jury duty thing...........Since the courthouse-slash-police-station is approximately 25 steps up the block from my job, I of course got there rite on time. I sat down in the courtroom and listened for about 10 minutes while some big black dude talked to us about the jury duty process and what was expected of us and how we'd be gettin' paid $40 for servin'. We then hadda fill out some half-assed half-paged questionnaire which took me a grand total of 25 seconds to complete and we all handed 'em in accordingly. After that The Judge, whom I know very well (but NOT cuz I was gettin' busted all the damn time, wise guys...he works in my building and I gotta deal with him & his firm, i.e. his miserable-with-a-capital-m bitch of a wife, on occasion) came into the courtroom in his whale-sized black robe with his bald head brightly shinin' and his snow white beard danglin' and addressed the group by tellin' us that the person in the case we were picked for just copped a plea so our jury duty service is now done and over with and we'll be receivin' a letter in the mail statin' that fact and since we served today we don't have to serve again for the next six years and thank you very much for doin' such an important service in the community and we are now excused have a good day..... And that was the end of THAT.A couple of days later I got my official letter statin' that I did my duty and that I don't gotta do it again until after six years have passed. A couple of weeks after that I gotta check in the mail for $40 as payment for my services. Sweet! And I didn't even have to do a gosh darn thing for that $40 either. So the way I see it is like this: I did absolutely nuthin' but sit on my fat ass and listen to two guys talk about some borin'-ass shit for mayyyyybe what was a grand total of 15 minutes and I made myself $40 while doin' it.A girl could really get used to that "do nuthin' and still get paid for it" stuff :-)

Pop Addicts

2011-10-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

The Pop Addicts link has been repaired. Thanx for the heads up!

October is the month for..............

2011-10-06T14:17:00.000-07:00

..........shameless plugs.

Yes folks, its shameless website plug time. It's time where MDJ begs on bended knee (but she's only bendin' on one knee cuz the other one hurts like hell rite now) and requests that all friends, cyber sisters, acquaintances, cyber sexers (whoops! TMI), family, cyber buds, & yes folks, even all u foe out there (see? I TOLD ya I'm shameless) to please go 'n check out this new website Pop Addicts. Now, even if this website ain't yer cup of tea, I'd muchly appreciate if ya'd pass the URL along to anyone 'n everyone ya think may enjoy it.

The reason for my beggin' is that this website is somethin' that my very-creative-yet-still-very-unemployed 19 year old son has been collaboratin' with a couple of other folk for the past 3 or so months on a 24/7 schedule. These are all young adults who have worked their butts off and who are extremely proud of the way the website came out, as am *I*. It just started up a few short days ago so they'd like to spread the cyber word as far 'n fast as it can travel. And that's where YOU come in!

Below for your viewin' pleasure is an excerpt taken straight from my son's Bio at the site:

Contributor/ Creative Director/ Graphics: Milkie | Milkie@popaddicts.com

He makes his momma so damn proud :-) You can read more about him at the site.

THIS kinda stuff is EXACTLY what my kid is GOOD at. He actually ENJOYS doin' it too. The only thing is, since he taught himself how to do all this stuff online he lacks any kinda formal trainin' in computer graphics/buildin' websites/etc. (altho he is FINALLY scheduled to take that damn GED next month, so that'll be a plus for him to begin to make a go of this as a career, if so desired) AND he never asks for a single dime for all his hard work. He's created numerous flyers for a local college sorority's different functions for a so-called friend, yet she'll never offer and he'll never mention gettin' paid for doin' it. I've literally watched as he sat hour upon hour tryin' to graphically create the "perfect" set of Asian eyes along with a "pleasing" font for one of their function's flyers. Yet he never gotta penny for all those hours/days/weeks spent on doin' those damn flyers for this "friend". I tried to tell him that the next time he gets a call like that to either speak up and say "sure, I'll do it, for a price" or else to just say "no thanx", but he's a hardhead (like mother, like son), so what can I say?

So please folks.......tell 2 friends, who'll tell 2 friends, who'll tell 2 friends, who'll then tell 2 more friends, and so on and so on and..... (hey, wasn't that an old Herbal Essence Shampoo t.v. commercial back in the day?).

I'd muchly appreciate yer assistance on this. And while yer over there, take a look around. Hey, ya never know.....U may just like it!

My Lazy Ass

2011-10-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, my lazy ass is back....and I gotta thank Mr. Charleston for givin' me a swift kick in it this afternoon. Ya see, as I was scrollin' thru my email inbox a few moments ago I saw that I hadda new comment from the good Mr. C himself. I opened it up and this is what I read:

************************************************************************************
Mr. Charleston has left a new comment on your post "Jury WHAT?":

Where the hell are you MeanDonnaJean? Get your lazy ass back to work.

Posted by Mr. Charleston to MeanDonnaJean's Stinkin' Thinkin' III at October 5, 2011 5:40 PM
************************************************************************************

So yeah, thanx babe. I REALLY needed that.

It's not that I had forgotten about this place or about any of ya'll. I reckon it's just that I thought I had nuthin' of any real importance to write about. I mean, a TON of shit musta happened since my last visit here but I just didn't have the energy to get online for any great length of time to bang it all out in black 'n white. It's funny...now that my son has his OWN laptop computer and mine is always free to use, I have no damn desire to use it.

The few times that I DID stop by and attempt to catch up on some of these great blogs here I ended up conkin' out in the chair 'n then makin' a beeline straight back to the bed. I still spend a lotta time in that damn thing....I just wish I was gettin' somethin' more outta it than just plain ol' sleep :-)

I must confess that on a couple o' occasions I HAVE been in touch with one person whom I met here, but I will not divulge any specifics for reasons that if I did I'd just have to kill ya afterwards. And I'm just too damn tired, fat 'n lazy to have to kill anybody these days.

So anyway, it looks like I've gotta lotta catchin' up to do here. I'll bet I've missed a bunch of good shit. I hope I can keep my eyes open long enuff to check 'em all out....but I sincerely doubt it. Besides, it's my nap time anyway, so I'll be back. Sooner or later.

Nitey nite!

Jury WHAT?

2011-07-30T14:44:00.001-07:00

I KNEW I never shoulda registered to vote a coupla years back dammit, cuz as the letter I received in today's mail so clearly states...

"You are summoned to appear as a trial juror in the City Court of {The Bowels of Hell} on Monday, August 22, 2011 at 10:45 a.m."

Say WHAT? JURY DUTY? For ME? MeanDonnaJean? Why? Why ME? *I* can't be on a jury. I mean, I hate EVERYONE! And everything! I can't even make a firm damn decision about the kinda loaf of bread I need to buy, nonetheless havin' the life of someone else in these wanna-slap-anyone-who-annoys-the-shit-outta-me-on-a-everyday-basis hands of mine. Nope. Notta good thing, that's for sure. Besides, whether they be guilty or not, I'd probably wanna put 'em ALL behind bars, just for the helluvit. The less lunatics that *I* gotta regularly deal with on the streets, the better.

So I figure if I just pull a real true "Archie Bunker" type on 'em when it comes time to weedin' out all the nutcases who they feel ain't "worthy enuff" to serve, I outta be good, rite? I sure as hell am gonna give it a try, that's all I know.

55 years old, and NOW I get called to serve. And all on account of me desperately votin' for the first time in my life two years ago cuz of my desire to get rid of the weed-smokin' crackhead constantly-gettin'-arrested-but-always-covered-up-and-kept-hush-hush-about Mayor we used to have in office here.

I'd love to think it was MY vote that finally got rid of that encumbent asshole but ha ha, the jokes on me....cuz look who's payin' the price NOW. Ain't thatta kick in the ass!

Here Birdie Birdie

2011-07-21T12:48:00.000-07:00

Presenting the newest members of MDJ's wacky family:

Zoey

Storm & Skye

Zoey & Storm

Zoey, Storm & Skye

The Day from Hell (chronologically condensed version)

2011-07-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

Number 1 (and the one 'n ONLY good thing that happened today): Today is my oldest daughter's 39th birthday. Happy birthday to my Michelle Ann (which I already DID take care of with her but figured I'd mention it here anyway).

Number 2: Today was the first day of my two days off from work. As we had all pre-planned, me, my youngest son & youngest daughter all hopped on a crowded-ass nasty-stinkin' 9 a.m. bus and took a 45 minute ride to the DMV. Me to getta "official" ID card cuz I ain't had one for a while now, her to getta lerner's permit, and him to getta new picture for his ID card (which, at the last moment he decided not to do anyway. SMART kid). As luck would have it, right before we boarded the bus we all got into a HUGE fight which lasted half the damn day....which was NOT pleasant for ANYBODY who was within 50 yards earshot of us I might add. Ugly scenes. VERRRY ugly.

Number 3: Even before the kids met me at McDonalds to go to DMV, my oldest boy (yes, the very same "jailbird" I used to speak of in days/diaries past) came in (lookin' all beaten down/slashed up I might add) and calmly stated that there is currently a warrant out for his arrest and he is gonna turn himself in at the police station in a few minutes. It had somethin' to do with some overly dramatic drama with his baby mamma a/k/a TCB (That Cunt Bitch). I JUST RECENTLY GOT HIM BACK AFTER SIX LONG YEARS FOR CRISSAKE! How much more can a mother's heart take? So off he went, with him havin' high hopes of gettin' bonded out.

Number 4: While at the DMV with my two kids I hadda stand online for OVER one and one-half hours just to get on another line to get that damn ID, which took another 45 minutes. I KNEW I shoulda went with my first instincts and hopped off that friggin' bus while we were all feudin'. Stupid me.

Number 5: Got home by 3 pm and hadda notice on my door from FedEx that they tried to deliver a huge bird cage I was waitin' for while I was out gettin' aggravated at my kids and at the complete assholes who work at/walk verrrrrry slooooooowly thru the DMV. MY luck. Freakin' figures.

Number 6: Oh yeah, did I mention that I decided I was gonna buy me some birds? Yep, to go along with the gigantic aquatic turtle and the 3 corydoras catfish I already have and whose tanks/filters/etc. I already gotta clean on a regular basis all by myself. I need my head examined.

Number 7: Hadda call the police station three effin' times thruout the day to get the status of my son's warrant/turn-in. Finally got it at 5:30 pm when they told me he had been remanded. So ya know those high hopes my son had of gettin' bonded out that I spoke of up above? Well, the judge wasn't have it, so he's gone, again :-( I will know more on the 20th when he goes back to court.

Number 8: After all the emotional upheaval I went thru thruout the day, I forgot I hadda huge Peapod grocery delivery arrivin' between 5 & 7 pm. He showed up shortly after 5:30 pm, right after I got the news about my son. Me and my youngest son helped the guy take everything outta the truck, hike it up to my second floor apartment and then me & him put everything away. I promptly conked out not 5 minutes afterwards and stayed that way until I came to at around 9 pm. Took a shower and conked right back out again.

This day took quite a lot outta MDJ.

It sucked big hairy mule dick, for sure.

Aggravation, by Avon

2011-07-07T15:43:00.000-07:00

I know its been a while since I've been here, but I really didn't have anything to say.

Until NOW ;-)

Below is a letter I just emailed to two of Avon's big-wigs; the V.P and the Sr. Mgr. of their Corporate Communications department/division. If I coulda located Avon's CEO's email, she too woulda gotta eyeful of my utter disgust with Avon today.

So without any further ado, here ya go:
____________________________________________________________________________________

Mr. Beaudet and Ms. Vargas,

Below I have copied and pasted emails which were recently transmitted between myself and 2 of Avon's customer service representatives. I now feel that the Vice President and Senior Manager of Avon's Corporate Communications should have a clear picture of the caliber of communication that is being disbursed on Avon's behalf. I will begin with my original email and the exact responses which followed, and end with my final albeit nasty response which I sent today:

Original Message Follows:
------------------------
Customer Name : Donna Rocchio

Are there any available Avon reps or any online websites who sell only
discontinued items from Avon? I''ve already tried eBay but had no luck.

-----Original Message-----
From: Dear Avon - WCCC
To: MeanDonnaJean ; MeanDonnaJean

Sent: Mon, Jul 4, 2011 12:28 pm
Subject: Re: Dear Avon Entry

ick on:
Shop Our Complete Online Store
There are multiple ways to navigate through the shop, you may:
Click on the brand logos in the top banner
Click on the products shown on the shop homepage
Pick a category on left navigation bag
Shop by product line on the bottom of the page

Once you’ve decided on the products you would like to purchase, enter the
quantity and version (if applicable) and click add to bag. You may continue
shopping or follow the directions on screen to complete your purchase.

It’s that simple! We hope you enjoy shopping with us!

If you have any further questions or concerns, please reply to this e-mail
message or call us any time, toll free at 1-800-500-AVON (2866) and a Customer
Service Specialist will be able to help.

Sincerely,
Nicole
AVON.com Customer Service

Original Message Follows: ------------------------
Oh for crissake! Never mind.
Does anybody ever actually READ anymore?

THIS was my question (with the subject details in red, I might add):

Original Message Follows:
------------------------
Customer Name : Donna Rocchio

Are there any available Avon reps or any online websites who sell only
discontinued items from Avon? I've already tried eBay but had no luck....

to which I keep getting your generic cookie-cutter form-letter-style reply.
Thanks anyway.
FYI - the third time is NOT a charm. It's just aggravating.

-----Original Message-----
From: Dear Avon - WCCC
To: MeanDonnaJean
Sent: Thu, Jul 7, 2011 6:06 am
Subject: Re: Dear Avon Entry

Dear Donna,

I've received your message about response you have received to your questions
about discount Avon dealers. My name is Kyle and I’m happy to help you.

I have read your message and apologize if you feel that you have not been
properly responded to, this was not our intention. As to your question of
finding a discount Avon site or Representative, the prices shown in the Campaign
Catalogs that Representatives have are going to be the same for every Official
Avon Seller. There will occasionally be Outlet or Sale Catalogs or Promotions
however Avon.com and Avon Representatives do not normally control these prices
and therefore I am not aware of any Official Sites or Sellers of Avon Products
at discounted prices.

If you have any further questions or concerns, please reply to this e-mail
message or call us any time, toll free at 1-800-500-AVON (2866) and a Customer
Service Specialist will be able to help.

Sincerely,
Kyle
AVON.com Customer Service

* and this was today's final email to Avon, from lil' ol' MDJ *

Are you fucking people serious? Am I being Punk'd here? Do ALL wanna-be Avon reps have a "no-read" requirement before they begin working for this company? I honestly cannot believe this shit.

I AM NOT ASKING HOW TO ORDER AVON PRODUCTS ONLINE!
I AM NOT ASKING ABOUT DISCOUNTED PRICES FOR AVON PRODUCTS!

Not once, not twice, but THREE times now I've had to reiterate a simple-ass question to a couple of simple-minded assholes who have absolutely no business being in the customer service field. Needless to say, these are just a few prime examples of today's businesses and their "customer disservice" departments.....which definitely explains a LOT.

Even though I have been an extremely loyal Avon customer by purchasing ONLY their products for well over 25 years, if I were smart, I would discontinue doing so in a heartbeat.

This is absolute absurdity at its BEST.
____________________________________________________________________________________

Blogger Footnote:

Alls I was lookin' for was a possible way to purchase some of Avon's discontinued items.

Was I REALLY askin' all that much?

Bedtime, MDJ's way

2011-06-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

How come all the good shit comes out long after I've had my kids?

Want another bedtime story, sweetie? Here's one: 'Go the Fuck to Sleep'

Hey, this looks SO good, I may just have to have another one, or two, or.....!

Just one of those moments....

2011-06-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

This has got to be one of those "oh, no he DIDN'T!" moments or else its one of those "now, why didn't *I* think of that?" moments. Take yer pick:

Sunday Funnies

2011-06-12T10:16:00.000-07:00

Saturday Funnies

2011-06-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

3 Down, 3 To Go

2011-06-04T15:54:00.000-07:00

After much deliberation (which was a VERY stupid procrastinated move on my part and in all actuality which really shoulda been a no-brainer and been done quite a while ago) and a quick dialog with The Boss on Thursday, I FINALLY decided to pay off ALL of my long runnin' up-to-my-ass-in-yet-with-notta-GD-thing-to-show-for-it debt. Yes folks, I'm talkin' about $25K worth of that stomach-tyin'-head-explodin'-wallet-depletin'-night-terror-causin' credit card debt.

On the grounds which may incriminate me I cannot go into specific details here about the whos or hows of doin' it but I CAN tell ya that as of today I'm officially halfway debt free after totally payin' off three of my six credit cards this afternoon. Alls I gotta do is wait for my three remainin' statements to come into my mailbox (whether virtual or real I really do not care which) and then those too will be outta my hair and my life for good. I cannot WAIT! It's been a looooong time comin' folks.

I have not been without any kinda debt since, hmmmmm, probably right after graduatin' high school in '74 when I applied for and received my very first credit card, a Caldor store card. That was the beginnin' of the end my friends. From what was probably a $250 (maximum) limit back then with a $7 monthly minimum payment, it snowballed into what it is today.........TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND FREAKIN' DOLLARS worth of food & clothes & a few cash advances (yessss, I know - that's a BIG no-no) & Lord knows WHAT else with hundreds upon hundreds of dollars as my current minimum monthly payments. It was stranglin' me much more than the tattooed vine wrapped around my neck.

Ohhhh, if only I had listened to my folks way back when. And, speakin' of my dearly departed folks....

I just wanna say thank you again Mom & Dad. Really. THANK you.

Anyway, thats the story, and it looks like I'm well on my way to bein' FREE. Without the credit ties that bind. Without money woes. Debt friggin' free. Weeeee!

My next freedom plan? These liquid handcuffs I've had on for 28 (gulp!) friggin' years. Oh yeah. THAT outta be f-u-n (n-o-t!).

ACME 2 The Rescue

2011-06-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

I'm havin' waaaay too much fun with the Toys and Amusements section of this website:

ACME Labs

For instance, I made this with the ACME ChuMaker:

and this with the ACME Label Maker:

and this and this with the ACME License Maker:

and even this with the ACME Windows Error Generator:

I'm keepin' myself very amused in my nice 'n cool air conditioned home on this hot sticky swelterin' humid day that's been jam packed with tornado watches and thunderstorm warnings.

As long as I don't lose power (and my AC and my ACME amusements), I'll be AOK.

Homeless Woman Prosecuted for Sending Son to 'Wrong' School

2011-05-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

I just signed the petition "Stop Prosecution of Homeless Woman Tanya McDowell for Sending Son to 'Wrong' School in Norwalk, CT" and wanted to see if you could help by adding your name and/or passing this along to anyone ya may feel might be interested. A long time ago I myself was homeless AND I used to live in Norwalk, CT....so this story kinda tugged at my heartstrings.

Anyway, the goal here is to reach 25,000 signatures and more support is definitely needed. You can read more and sign the petition here:

"Wrong" Message, not "Wrong" School

Confirmation Day

2011-05-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

Today I was fortunate enuff to receive my one 'n only confirmation....confirmation that my 2 youngest children...my son Anthony 'n my daughter Jessica...really DO love 'n care about me. Lemme explain.

I was in my usual weekend cleanin' mode and as such I was in the final stretch of vacuumin' the very last of 8 rooms total which I must do. I'm in the livin' room, got the vacuum hummin' away on full power and I'm sweatin' like a pig in this ridiculous heat while pushin' that damn thing over the last bit of carpet in the livin' room. My son had just gone out for a bit (without his keys, as usual) and he was gonna pick up a pack of smokes for me on his way home so just in case he came home while I was still cleanin' and I didn't hear him knockin', he'd call me on my cell phone which I had in my pocket and I could unlock the door for him.

So the sweats drippin' down my face 'n neck, I'm cursin' myself for ever wantin' to start cleanin' on such a humid day in the first place, and I'm just bendin' over to move somethin' that was in the vacuum's way when my arm brushed against my pocket and I could feel my cell vibratin'. So I shut off the vacuum and grab my cell. It's my daughter callin' and I can see that I've got 3 missed calls from her which means she musta tried callin' me 3 other times in succession rite before this call which is notta good sign when it comes to HER. Hesitant on answerin' the call, expectin' the worse 'n holdin' my breath (awwww shit, NOW what? was my first thought cuz I was really expectin' to hear her screamin' 'n wailin' on some street corner again but God only knew what it was about this time around) I answered the phone.

"Mom?? MOM??" she quickly says. Uh oh, I hear it. I can hear the sound of freakin' out 'n total panic in her voice just like every other damn time she called me while havin' one of her street corner breakdowns. "Whaaaaaaaat Jess" I half disgustedly say. "Are you okay???" she says a lil' louder. "Yeah Jess, why?" "Mom, Mom, don't lie to me....are you SURE yer okay?" she says a bit more panicky now. "YEAH Jess. Why? What's UP?" I ask. "Cuz Mom you called me like 4 times in a row a few minutes ago and I'm at City Island right now with Vincent but every time I answered your call it sounded like you were havin' some kinda bad seizure cuz I could barely hear you and you were makin' these God awful sounds so I thought you were on some kinda bad acid trip :::HUH????::: or maybe you did too much drugs and you were overdosin' :::WHAAAAT?::: and were tryin' to gimme some kinda sign that you needed help :::ARE U SERIOUS?::: but I can't get there Mom cuz I'm at City Island and I'm scared Mom and.....ummm Mom, wait a sec....hang on, Anthony's callin' me...". Lorrrrrd have mercy I think to myself. She gets back on the line and says "so um yeah so I called Anthony cuz I thought you were in trouble but he said he wasn't home and, and..." "Jess Jess" I interrupt her. "Calm down!!" I damn near scream into the phone. "I'm OOOOKAAAAY, really! I'm just vacummin' hun. It must be this damn cell phone of mine. Its in my pocket. It musta dialed your number by accident while I was vacuumin'. I've got you on speed dial and it musta kept connectin' on its own" I tell her. "Mom, are you SURRRRRE thats all it is? Cuz every time I answered I heard some weird noises comin' from yer end and I'm thinkin' that yer havin' a stroke or somethin' and ya can't talk so yer tryin' to tell me that ya need help and....". "Yesss Jess, all ya heard was the damn vacuum runnin', thats all it was babe. Don't worry hun, really. I'm fine. Whoops! Lemme go kiddo, yer brother is callin' me" I tell her as I see "Anthony calling" now showin' up on my cell phone. "Ok Mom, love you!" she says. "I love you too hun. Bye, have fun!"

So I answer my son's call. "What's up Ant?" "MOM! Are you okay? Jess just called me and she's all freakin' out and everything and she screamed at me and told me to get home quick cuz you were callin' her but she couldn't understand what you were sayin' and so somethin' must be wrong with you so I just left the tattoo shop ::::the WHAT???::: and I ran over to the cab company and now I just got in a cab and I'm comin' home to you but oh by the way Mom I hadda use the money you gave me for your cigarettes :::GRRRR::: to pay for the cab ride home and ARE YOU SURE YER OKAY Mom?" he goes on. I start crackin' up. "Yes hun, I'm fine" I tell him. "It was all cuz of my cell phone. It was butt dialin'....well, it was really pocket dialin' yer sister but I couldn't hear it cuz I was still vacuumin' and she was hearin' the sound of the vacuum thru the inside of my pocket and....WHAT? Ya didn't get my CIGARETTES??? Ohhh, that's okay, just come on home" I tell him.

I go unlock the door for him and soon after I hear the upstairs door SLAM shut. He comes in with a puss on his face, hands me my change from the cab ride home/no cigarette purchase, walks into his room and yells out "ya know, I really wasn't plannin' on comin' home so soon. I just LEFT!". I begin to laugh. I can't help myself. I find this whole scenario highly amusin'. I can see that my kids are now more neurotic than I am.....but *I* musta MADE them that way from all MY neuroses. Oh well, my mother did it to ME, so I'm just doin' my motherly duties and am passin' it along...just like any good mother would do :-) He walks back towards me and proceeds to put his hands around my neck and gently squeeze. "I wanna strangle you!" he jokingly says. I'm now crackin' up. He plops down on my bedroom floor and we begin goin' over the whole damn story....laughs 'n all.....how it all began and how it ended.

"It's all cuz of JESS!" he jumps up and says. "It's all HER fault! Oooooh, wait til I get my hands around HER neck" he threatens......with a sly grin. "But ya know" he says "I'll betcha this was all just payback to me, for all the times I used to call you when I was out and I told you that I was lost or scared or someone was followin' me or that I was kidnapped and stuffed inside the trunk of a car or...." "Ohhhh yeeeeeahhhhhh, that's riiiiiiiight!" I respond. "See? I TOLD ya. What goes around comes around babe...and now you finally got whats comin' to ya. Ha! I LOVE it!" I happily sing. He agrees.

So as you can see, I now know that my kids really DO love and care about me, and today they confirmed it once 'n for all. It feels real nice knowin' how far they'd go for their Mom if they think she's in trouble. I'll take their panic-stricken accusation-ridden neurotic phone calls and angry threatenin' neck-wranglin' any day.

Oh, and about all those frightenin' stupid-ass stories he used to call and tell me about on a regular damn basis? THOSE are for another day, another post. Oh yes, my son's come up with some real doozies, that's for sure. And stupid-ass ME fell for 'em each 'n every damn time.

So sad

2011-05-27T16:38:00.000-07:00

Finally Restin' In Peace

The news of this really hit hard today and it made me awfully sad. It kinda hit home....a bit too close to home if ya ask me. I can personally relate to his abuse of pain meds, his abuse of street drugs, even his abuse of methadone....but watchin' him as he suffered thru it all and became closer to death with each passin' year brought back too many bad memories of those I've lost due to same. And even though I've witnessed this very same thing with the death of my husband and with the dozen or more friends of mine who've also lost their lives due to drug abuse, I never get used to it.

This once vital, once handsome, once well-known and always much-loved actor whom I watched weekly on my living room television set on the show "Taxi" fell deep 'n hard into the gruesome grip of addiction but could never find his way out again. I watched him go from a hot young stud to a feeble ol' fiend in what seemed like the blink of an eye.

And now he's gone for good, just another statistic of that dreadful disease called addiction which he's been battlin' for most of his adult life, as have I.

So sad. So very very sad.

May you finally rest in peace, Jeff Conaway.

Memo to God II

2011-05-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Well, since it IS 5/21/11 and I'm still here, I reckon I can safely assume that I'm not one of yer chosen ones...??? :-(

But, the day's not over YET. And guess what? My laundry is DONE! So God, I'll be the first to admit that I'm now ready, willin' 'n able.

Whoops, hang on a sec God......

I gotta go pee!!!

Memo to God

2011-05-19T16:29:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

About this May 21st "Judgment Day" thing that ya got scheduled for us....

Can ya please push it back a couple o' days?

I've gotta TON of laundry to do beforehand.

Many thanx,

MeanDonnaJean

Dear Abby

2011-05-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

Imagine my utter disgust when I came across THIS in the newspaper first thing this a.m.:

Dear Abby: My stepdaughter cleaned our house when my wife - her mother - was ill. I appreciated her efforts, until I noticed she had put the toilet brush in the dishwasher with the dishes. I quietly removed it.

Am I overreacting because I no longer want to eat at her house? Most of our family gatherings are at her house.

- Turned Off in Texas

Dear Turned Off: I wouldn't have been subtle about removing the toilet brush from the dishwasher. What a gross lapse of judgment. I wouldn't want to eat at her house either, and I'd let my spouse know why.

Is it just MY OCD that's makin' me feverishly ill over this, or do U feel the same way?

They say.........

2011-05-16T16:56:00.000-07:00

Ya know that ol' sayin' "if a tree falls in the forest.....does it make a sound?"

Well, I heard that question raised on the radio while ridin' in a cab this afternoon and I immediately thought to myself:

WHO the hell ever thought up such an assinine question in the first place and WHY the hell would anybody wanna debate such a stupid issue in the second place?

Well, someone DID, and people DO. Just take a look-see for yerself:

Timber!

Me? I dunno. I just wouldn't waste my breath nor the pads of my fingertips on debatin' it.

However, the only thing I AM certain of is this:

If ever MY fat ass falls in the forest its gonna rumble like a damn earthquake and I'm probably gonna go deaf from it afterwards.

Ain't no debatin' THAT fact.

So see? Alls they ever hadda do was ask ME. *I* coulda set 'em allllll straight on that "fallin' & sound" subject once and for all.

Silly folk.

The Ultimate Hoard

2011-05-14T13:47:00.000-07:00

Saw this on a news clip late last nite. Since The Bowels borders the city this happened in, it was just a lil' too close to home.

That t.v. show "Hoarding: Buried Alive" ain't got nuthin' on THIS:

Daddy's Daughter Dearest

Judge Judy Strikes Again

2011-05-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

There are 3 very short clips here. It's the 3rd one that has Judge Judy's charm:

The Judge called it.
Dumb and Dumber!
STUPID ass.

To Wipe or Not To Wipe.....THAT is the question

2011-05-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

Tell me somethin'.

If you had just used the toilette (either #1 or #2, take yer pick....but how do ya like the delicate lil' spin I put on the T word?) in a one stall public restroom, would YOU use the roll of paper that looks like it was just dined on by a family of starvin' rats?

Ohhhh what to do, what to do...

My Baby Boy

2011-05-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

Is this not THE most perfect Mother's Day card from my youngest son, Anthony? (ya really gotta SEE him to "get" this card, but I will tell ya that its right on the money)...

No matter how annoyin' and completely irritatin' this kid can innocently and sometimes not-so-innocently be, he ALWAYS makes me LOL.

Oh, my lil' baby boy.

And for those of ya who are old enuff to know what I'm talkin' about....

Oh, my lil' baby Huey! ;-)

Happy Mother's Day to ALL of the wonderful ladies here and to all of u great Moms (and even the not-so-great ones, whomever u shall be) out there.

In Her Honor's Honor

2011-05-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

Found this on my beloved Judge Judy:

Judge, Jury and Teacher of All Things Proper

and ya know I just HADDA leave a few comments there.

2011-05-07T09:41:00.001-07:00

MDJ's House Rule No. 92: if you have a severe foot odor problem and you come to my home for a visit, KEEP YER DAMN SHOES ON!!

Callin' Judge Judy!!!

2011-05-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

Oh yessss honey, I'd LOVE to see THIS on Judge Judy........

Stupid Stupor Suit

I can almost see 'n hear her now.

"Mr. Gold, I've read yer papers. It's almost lunchtime. I'm hungry. I'll give you two minutes (tap tap taps her wristwatch) to state yer case."

The Plaintiff quickly stammers out his case.

"YER AN IDIOT!" she yells out.

::::audience applauds & roars with laughter::::

"Stop wastin' the Court's time with such nonsense. Good-BYE Mr. Gold"

::::Her Honor gets up outta her seat, turns around 'n walks off The Bench. The Plaintiff is left standin' there speechless. Fades to black. Goes to commercial::::

I STILL love that woman :-)

It MUST be the name

2011-05-01T06:24:00.000-07:00

Oh Charlie, Charlie, Charlie......

Interview: Charles Manson still insane

Good ol' Charlie Manson.

And on the flip side ya got Charlie Sheen.

Wanna take a vote on which one's crazier?

A not-so-great gift idea

2011-05-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

If yer really stumped as to what to get yer Dad for Easter next year, please DON'T do what this woman did:

Happy Easter Daddy!

If a unique silver bracelet set wasn't a gift she had in mind, she got two of 'em for the price of one ANYWAY.

The Sounds of Footsteps

2011-04-25T16:36:00.000-07:00

(right footstep) yow! (left footstep) awww! (right footstep) yikes! (left footstep) damn! (right footstep) eeeech! (left footstep) ooch! (right footstep) ouch! (left footstep) owwwch! (right footstep) owwwwww!! (left footstep) pain! (right footstep) more pain! (left footstep) want! (right footstep) them! (left footstep) off! (right footstep) now! (left footstep) home! (right footstep) quick! (left footstep) up! (right footstep) steps! (left footstep) open! (right footstep) door! (left footstep) sit! (right footstep) here!

PLOP!

KICK!

OFF!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Ohhhhhhhhhh Godddddddddddd that feels soooooooooooooooooooooo damn goooooood.

Remind me to NEVER wear wedge heels again to work.

Especially when I've gotta WALK. Everywhere.

Dunno WHAT the hell *I* was thinkin' this mornin'. Reckon I just WASN'T, period.

Oh my poor lil' size 6 feetsies.

Tomorrow, its back to the usual FLAT COMFY Dickie's.

How I DO love them Dickies :-)

Undeniable Adult Truths

2011-04-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

I snatched this, with permission of course from another diarist (thanx, cpthereturn) over at DearDiary (whose ship is STILL slowly sinkin' I might add, sniff sniff):

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history when you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

An eye for an eye........

2011-04-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

Awwww man, what I'd love to do to the fuckin' PUNKS who did this to this poor kid:

R.I.P Seath Jackson

It makes me fuckin' SICK to think of how cruel 'n uncarin' this world really IS.

Dear Diary

2011-04-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

If any of ya happen to keep a personal diary over at Kabarty's DearDiary.Net website (as I still personally do, which is basically where my bloggin' began with a bang some time around ten or more years ago) then ya may already be aware of its recent plight. If ya don't have a diary there yerself but ya do happen to know someone who does, perhaps ya'd be so kind as to either a) keep an open heart/mind (and possibly, yer wallet?) as ya continue readin' on or b) pass this post along to the appropriate diary-writin' person ya know.

Kabaarty's/DearDiary's master guru guy, Steve, the sole dude whose been runnin' the site on a wing 'n a prayer ever since God knows when (and you can read all about him here posted an S.O.S. yesterday that truly touched me Steve's Plea so I felt like I hadda do SOMETHIN' besides the obvious (which ya'll read about in a bit) to help him out.

And that's the reason for this post.

Like I said, I've been writin' there for, like, ever, and the few reasons I still remain steadfast to the site are 1) its large enuff where ya can getta nice followin' of faithful readers (and faithful is really the key word here) yet its small enuff where ya can really get to KNOW 'em on a more personal level than anywhere else. I've metta lotta fantastic ladies (and even a few gents) there, some of whom I've grown pretty darn close to over the years and simply adore. If one of us has ANY kinda problem...whether it be large 'n outlandish or small 'n extremely personal, we're always there for each other. Some of us are very comfortable exchangin' telephone numbers, addresses, birth dates, zodiac signs, etc., and if someone should happen to write about some sorta personal or financial disaster they are currently experiencin', we are more than willin' to lend 'em a hand, an ear, and our hearts. And for those of us who CAN, we're even willin' to open up our checkbooks without a second thought. I've done it for others before AND I've had it done for me before, so I KNOW.

But lemme get back to THE Man of the Hour here, Steve.

If ever ya have a problem with yer diary...whether it be pages not loadin', pics not showin', tweakin' questions, setup problems, whatever...alls ya gotta do is send an email to the sites general email and Steve will personally, professionally (and very quickly!) respond to yer plea. If it takes him all nite 'n all day to finally get ya seamlessly up 'n runnin' again (which has personally happened to me on a few rare occasions), he'll do it, no questions asked. And he'll do it to the best of his ability and to yer best satisfaction, period (and please keep in mind folks that all of this is completely FREE...there's my favorite word again!).

So yeah, it really IS a great place to BE.

But if ya already read the link above ya'll see that its now in dire financial trouble. And this is where YOU come in.

Since I AM still a diarist there I've already done my part by donatin' $60...which is one month's worth of the site's runnin' costs....and I am determined to donate again in the future should my finances allow me to. I'd hate to lose the ability to continue to write there so I'm gonna try my damndest to spread the word along 'n beg for anyone 'n everyone's mercy :-)

Now, I can absolutely understand yer apprehension or refusal if yer unwillin' to financially take part in this, so please don't feel as tho yer obligated. Even if ya just pass the word along in yer blog or send emails to yer friends 'n/or family, that'll be a HUGE help. The more people who know about this the better the chance Steve'll have of keepin' the website alive.

And besides, it'll make ME real happy....and dontcha REALLY want me to be happy?

Yeah, DONTCHA?????? ;-)

Yellow Bird

2011-04-21T16:25:00.000-07:00

Do these guys know how freakin' lucky they were?

Yo! Cabbie!

First of all, just tryin' to getta cab here in The Bowels is a huge feat in itself. If ya try to get one by phone, yer lucky if they even answer the damn phone....cuz they NEVER answer if there's no cabs available. When they DO finally answer tho, ya a) can't understand a lick o' what they said cuz most of 'em are from some foreign-ass country or b) yer left waitin' and waitin' for the cab to arrive and most times it just DOESN'T arrive. If ya try to flag one down on the street, yer lucky if they don't either a) pass ya by completely or b) completely 'n literally run yer ass over.

And let's not even start with all the "gypsy cabs" we've got floatin' around here. Those mostly unregulated, mostly unlicensed, mostly non-English-speakin', mostly leavin'-yer-life-in-their-unclean-lil'-hands fly-by-nite so-called cab drivers who can wander around about as aimlessly as most serial killers and who mostly have the same M.O. as most of 'em too. So yeah, if ya REALLY wanna thrill ride, hop in one of THOSE suckers. Ya MAY not hop out.

So imagine ME, jumpin' into a BoH (Bowels of Hell) cab and tellin' 'em I wanna go to California (altho that'll be the day that *I* put out five grand for a fuckin' miserable smelly dirty hot broken-down cab ride). Hey, I'm lucky if they bring me across town for crissake...and that's only a grand total of four square miles! California? They'd probably ask me what the fuck I was smokin'...and then proceed to tell me to pass 'em some (cuz we all know just how much those Jamaican cabbie's LOVE to smoke their ghanga!).

With MY luck, they'd insist on gettin' paid up front (which is some kinda unspoken unwritten cabbie law here in NY) they would mayyyyybe take me as far as the GW Bridge, then they'd pull over 'n tell me to get my fat ass out and WALK the rest of the way. Only, they'd be pullin' that shit on the WRONG damn person.

Cuz that's when I'd have to shank 'em. Just for G.P. That's how WE roll here in The Bowels.

So, that NY-to-CA-cab-ride shit may fly down in the city, but it sure don't fly here in TBoH.

And speakin' of flyin'............ ;-)

All in the Family

2011-04-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

We all know just how warped MY stinkin' thinkin' can be at times, but what ya probably don't know is just how warped my two youngest KIDS can be at times.

Example:

Since she was young, my daughter has had this weird "fear" of mayonnaise. She simply cannot tolerate tastin' it, smellin' it or even seein' it...whether it be mixed in with some other ingredients or whether it be inside a sealed jar.

Don't ask ME. She's just weird.

So of course, my youngest son (the one who still lives here at home with me and who desperately needs a J-O-B!!!) insists on torturin' her with mayonnaise at every possible single solitary moment that he CAN.

Whenever my daughter stops by here for a visit my son will, unbeknownst to her, grab that damn jar of mayonnaise from the fridge and proceed to chase her all around the friggin' house with it. Can ya picture it? Two fully grown, full-bodied (i.e. overweight, as their Momma is) ADULTS....a daughter who's gonna be 27 and a son who's gonna be 19.....both runnin' thru all 7 rooms of our second floor apartment in this here private house we rent, one screamin' "Maaaaaaaa!!!" bloody murder at the top of her lungs 'n soundin' like someone's comin' after her with a butcher knife while the other one is loudly 'n breathlessly laughin' his ass off, lovin' every minute of it.

He gets her EVERY damn time.

So as you can see, normalcy is definitely not somethin' yer gonna find in MY home. Not much, anyway.

But here's the REAL kicker....

A couple of weeks ago my son came into my room and almost innocently asked me this question:

"Mom, how bad would it be if somebody sent somethin' to someone that they knew the other person REALLY didn't like?"

So naturally, my antennae immediately went up :::::boink!:::::: and to which I responded, "awww jeez Ant, whadya do NOW?"

"Nuuuuuthin'" he coyly said....with a shit-eatin' grin on his face.

"Annnnnnnt!!!! TELL me!"

"Wellllll, I ONLY hadda jar of Miracle Whip mailed to Jess's house" he replies.

"You WHAT? How the hell did ya do THAT?" I snapped back.

"I saw it on the computer" he said. "You can have a sample of Miracle Whip sent to yer house".

"Grrrrrrreat" I answered. "Now WHY would ya do somethin' like THAT?" I asked.

"Just for FUN" he says, and laughs like a lil' schoolboy.

Boys WILL be boys.

And then I forgot all about it. Until I gotta call from my daughter at 7:45 this mornin'.

"Mom? I wanna ask ya a question, but ya gotta promise me that ya WON'T lie to me" she says.

"Yeah Jess. What's up?" *I* innocently responded, completely forgettin' about that lil' discussion I had with my son a few weeks ago.

"Did Ant have a jar of Miracle Whip sent to me in the mail?" she asks.

I couldn't lie to her. I mean, I COULDA lied to her, but I really didn't wanna. But before I could say anything to her I began gigglin'. And that's when I basically gave it away.

"He DID!!!" she screams. Now *I'm* the one laughin' MY ass off.

I finally breathe outta "Yesssssss Jess, he DID....but don't tell him I told ya!"

"Oh, I WON'T!" she snaps back. "But I AM gonna call him in a few 'n give him HELL when he finally admits it" she says. "Bye Mom. Love you" she says 'n she hangs up.

"Well, at least she's a semi-good sport about it" I think to myself....then wonder exactly what the hell she's gonna do to get back at him.

Oh joy, I can't WAIT.

The Atomic Bomb

2011-04-19T14:40:00.000-07:00

Burnin' 'Em Up

Are they SERIOUS?

I FINALLY made it!!

2011-04-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I'll be damned. After allll the years I've been writin' over there, I FINALLY made DearDiary's Top Ten list!!!

Top Ten Most Popular Diaries
17 Apr 2011 - 11:03:49 AM

novax diary novax
A Little Bit of Everythin... HauntedMom
Ladyhawk's Life Hellcat
Me-You-Them AlanaJelinek
Oracle-less thoughts Jenshina
My World Through My Eyes ksmiley
********MeanDonnaJean's Stinkin' ... MeanDonnaJean2********
Me cpthereturn
Fate or Craziness YearoftheCat
Soliloque Jovenea

:::::takes a bow (no, NOTTA damn curtsey):::::

First of all I'd like to thank my beloved DD followers who are just about the greatest bunch of ladies (along with a couple o' gents thrown in here 'n there) ya'll ever wanna meet and who have always stuck by me thru thick 'n thin, thru my numerous disappearin' acts and thru whatever other kinda stuff I've subject 'em to, along with thankin' DD's very own magician Steve who has gotten me outta a few sticky situations without even battin' an eye as well as Kabarty in general altho exactly what they are/do is still a complete mystery to me.

I'd also like to thank this always-weird-but-sometimes-not-so-very-wonderful-world in which we live as well as the place I've spent the last 28 or so years at which I've dubbed "The Bowels of Hell" along with my wacky kids who never cease to make me laugh/scream/cry/yawn/etc. and of course my two absolutely adorable grandsons who always bring a smile to my face, all of whom have given me boatloads of exceptional material to write about.

I'd also like to thank The Academy... Oh wait, wrong award ;-)

Thanx everyone. I couldn'ta done it without any one of ya.

P Party

2011-04-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

Woke on Sunday mornin' at 8:00 a.m. which is basically much too damn early and unheard of for MJD's weekends but I figured what the hell so I got up to immediately go pee 'n to light a fire underneath the already-prepared-the-nite-before good ol' fashioned stovetop percolator coffee pot. None of those "drippity drip" coffee machines for this ol' gal, oh NO. Nasty. Just plain ol' nasty.

I then puttered around for a bit, throwin' back the bedcover to make up the bed, turnin' on the tv 'n checkin' to see if my beloved Sopranos was scheduled for its usual time slot today (which it was NOT, thank you very much for absolutely nuthin' AGAIN, A&E TV), turnin' on the turtle's heat/light lamp for the day, toppin' up the water level in her tank and in the fish's tank, turned on the good ol' desktop computer (which is now basically all MINE since I got the kid a laptop of his very own...there's no more "how much longer ya gonna BE?" and "I NEED the computer NOW!" and "its MY turn! YOU were on long enuff!"), plus did a few other what-have-you's and what-not's.

It was durin' one of those what-not times that I noticed my hands 'n fingers were more swollen than normal so I grabbed a dose of Lasix (Furosemide) to get the pee ball rollin' (and ROLL it sure 'nuff DID!) and downed it with the rest of my ritualistic mornin' handful of meds. Noted the time on the clock which read 9:35 a.m. and wondered just how long it'll be before the Lasix takes effect this time around.

'Twasn't long at all before I was up 'n runnin' towards the bathroom. It was 10:02 a.m. 'n I peed like it was nobody's business (so then WHY am I sharin' all this TMI stuff with y'all?). Went back to what I was doin' when notta few moments later that sudden severe urge to urinate struck me again. It's 10:15. Here we go AGAIN, back to the toilet. Ahhhh. Better. Go sit back down when it strikes AGAIN. 10:27. Then again at 10:36. And 10:45. And 10:57. And 11:03. And 11:17. Its now 11:25 and I'm about to go AGAIN. Hang on.

Ahhhh, that's sooooo much better. But in another 10 minutes or so I'll be flyin' off this chair and into the bathroom AGAIN, so I think I'm gonna end this rite about here. Besides, I think y'all have been subject to enuff of MDJ's Urination Nation Autobiography. Oh Lord, its 11:39. Here we go AGAIN. BRB.

I'm just real glad that I did ALL of the housework yesterday so I don't gotta stop every 10 or so to go empty this much-too-full bladder of mine. It's a huge pain in the rear (or maybe I outta say the OTHER nearby private part) to have to keep stoppin' what yer doin', jumpin' up, runnin' thru the house, sittin' down and completely eliminatin' yerself, goin' back to what ya were doin' then havin' to get up 'n do it all over again in another few moments.

Like, at 11:48, which is right NOW!

Sheesh, where the hell is a good ol' catheter when ya REALLY NEED ONE, anyway? ;-)

Friends 'n Freebies

2011-04-16T12:20:00.000-07:00

A friend frantically called me this a.m. needin' my assistance with both her son's & her daughter's computers. She had mentioned to me earlier in the week that they've been havin' some pretty darn serious virus/spyware/etc. problems and neither system is now workin' correctly or up to par. She mentioned how they currently have Norton installed on their system but that their year is almost up and they really can't afford to purchase another year's worth of protection. I briefly gave her a rundown of all the FREE software that I myself have installed on my system and told her that I have had absolutely NO problems with either mine or my kid's laptop (since I gave him the exact same rundown with instructions to install all on the very day we got the darn thing) while she quickly searched in her bag for a piece of paper 'n pen. Even tho she's never even BEEN on a damn computer herself and therefore didn't have a clue as to what I was tellin 'her, she began jottin' down everything I was sayin'. In the midst of our conversation I happened to glance to one side and noticed one other lady who was in earshot of our conversation quickly doin' the very same thing...writin' down the name of the software and their accompanyin' URL's that I was blurtin' out. I told my friend to just gimme a call if she needed my help, and that's exactly what she did this mornin'.

She put her son on the phone with me but since his system is currently ridden with all kindsa yucky gunk and is all screwy and freezin' up, we couldn't get very far telephone-wise cuz I just didn't have the time nor the patience to wait for him to load each website 'n walk him thru each install/download step by step. I asked him to send me his email address so I could send him a list of what he outta do to get his system back to normal. I told him thatta short time ago I putta post on a message board that I frequent in response to someone else's plea for help with HER kid's computer and that I would send him the entire post, links included, so that he could go directly to each website and download the software that I recommended. I gave him a few other pointers before hangin' up and told him to call me if he had any problems then I sent him on his merry lil' way with a handful of computer chores to do. I ain't heard a word from him since then so I'm assumin' he did everything as I instructed 'n by now his system is in decent workin' order again.

It was some time afterwards, somewhere in between my takin' down/foldin'/puttin' away the dry clothes that I had washed on Thursday, washin'/hangin' up to dry two more loads of clothes, brownin' a big pan of meatloaf mix that went into a huge crockpot along with some other spicy chili fixin's for tonite's dinner, vacuumin' the entire house, cleanin' the bathroom and washin' the breakfast dishes that this very thought hit me:

I wonder if anybody else out there is in need of this same information and if so, what would be the best way to get it to 'em? (besides my original message board post, that is) and that's when I decided to come HERE and copy/paste my exact post.

So, just in case ya happen to be in dire need of some good ol' fashioned FREEBIE computer software that does exactly what its supposed to do, here ya go:

Post by MeanDonnaJean » April 6th, 2011, 5:47 pm

Excuse me while I elbow my way thru here 'n just bust rite into this conversation :-)

I've used AVG Free for many years now, have recommended it to countless family 'n friends, and have had NO problems with it at all. It's reliable 'n it does what its supposed to do, period.

However, I've gotta admit that I'm sorta OCD'ish when it comes to my computer's security/protection so I also have installed, regularly use, update approximately 2x weekly, 'n highly recommend ALL of the followin' FREE software:

Javacool's SpywareBlaster
Spybot Search & Destroy
CCleaner
Lavasoft's Ad-Aware

Some may think its a bit o' overkill, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. And since all of the above are FREE to install and use (and that's the BEST part in MY book cuz I'm about as cheap as they come) and they all WORK, I just can't say enuff good stuff about 'em. As a matter of fact, I can't even remember the last time my computer hadda virus...or spyware, or adware, or anything malicious/harmful. It's been THAT long ago.

So go on, why not give 'em a try? I mean, what's the worse that can happen? If for some strange reason ya just don't like 'em or ya feel like they ain't doin' ya any good, most of 'em come with uninstallers so you can just get rid of 'em......but I kinda doubt that ya WILL.

And just in case yer wonderin'.........NO, I am NOT gettin' paid for this ;-)

"The same people you abuse on your way up
you might meet up on your way down"
~Little Feat~

"Never compromise yourself.....it's all you've got"
~janis joplin~

Reason #734

2011-04-12T14:12:00.000-07:00

Tail Clipper

If they can't get it right while on the ground, what the hell makes me think they'll get it right while up in the air?

Just another one of the many reasons why THIS wide body won't EVER step foot on any of THOSE wide bodies.

Tweet Me U Twit

2011-04-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

For some stupid reason over the weekend I hadda sudden 'n inexplicable urge to go check out this Twitter thingy that has the whole world a-buzz 'n apparently doin' somethin' they like to call "tweeting". Personally, I thought only birds did somethin' that sounded like that, but what the hell...ya wanna call it "tweeting", so be it. It was just that everywhere I turned lately I either saw or heard the words "follow ME on Twitter at blah blah blah, blah-blah-blah-blah", so I figured there hadda be somethin' good to it if damn near everybody 'n there Mamma was doin' it. Once I got there, and as is usually the case, I hadda "sign up" with 'em in order to do anything worthwhile. Sooooo, that's what I did.

Once there (and there really ain't much to that damn website I might add) and immediately after signin' up, I was then given the option to search for items or people of interest that I might wanna "follow". So off I went, in search of anything that would tickle my fancy, get the ol' juices flowin' again, or even keep me slightly entertained. I checked out every damn category &/or person they had, checkin' some of 'em even two or three times over again, yet I couldn't find a single damn thing that interested me. Not ONE friggin' one.

One thing I did notice while I was there was that yer "tweets" are limited to a grand total of 140 characters. CHARACTERS. Not WORDS but characters. Now what kinda crap is THAT? I could sneeze 140 characters! Why, I nevah.

Another option was to search thru my email contacts to find people I knew that I might wanna follow. Follow 'em for WHAT? If I wanna have that much close contact with folks just to find out what the hell they're thinkin'/sayin'/dreamin'/doin' all day long I may as well just email 'em six or seven times a day with a "wassup my nigga?" or somethin' similar. Jeez, gimme a damn break. I don't like ANYBODY all that damn much.

So, what did I end up doin'? I clicked on a couple of those green "Follow" boxes for a couple of various people/thingys that I have no damn clue about or any interest in at all, then figured I'd wait 'n see what happened. And so, I waited.

And I waited some more.

But we all know that MDJ's patience level is nil. Nada. Niet (did I spell that rite? Oh what the hell, I don't spell much o' anything RITE anyway).

Now, maybe I ain't thoroughly graspin' this Twitter Trip that the entire world is on, or maybe I just didn't wait long enuff to give it much of a chance, but I really don't think I wanna either. I came to the conclusion that Twitterin'/tweetin'/flappin' my wings 'n bitchin' from a beak just ain't my cup o' tea. In all actuality, it ruffled my damn feathers more than anythin' else ;-) But really, I'm more the blogger-type anyway. I'm a B-I-G woman...I need me lotsa ROOM to say what I've gotta say!

I may not NEED "followers", but it sure is nice to know that they're here. They're readin'...and they're respondin'...and they're greatly appreciated....and they're just about the nicest bunch of folk ya'd ever wanna get to know.

Besides, WHEN the hell have I ever said ANYTHING in 140 freakin' letters or less?

Law v. Label

2011-04-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

Way back in the day when The Popular Club was...well...popular, I purchased me a navy blue part-wool dressy blazer even tho, and yes I'll admit it, I was on Welfare, and it cost me a pretty penny even back then. Since that day I've probably donned that jacket not even a grand total of 6 times. Today that blazer looks damn near just as good as the day I bought it, altho this mornin' I thought it was high time I gave it a good thorough cleanin' but without havin' to shlep myself to the dry cleaners with it (which I NEVER do cuz I never buy "Dry Clean Only" stuff anymore).

I checked the garment's label which was still clearly marked "Dry Clean Only". After poo-poo'in that silly idea for a few I figured what the hell...I'll throw it in the washin' machine with the load of darks that I had all ready to go and I'll hope for the best. So into the cold water wash it went. I held my breath and waited.

Now, when I bought this washin' machine a couple of years ago (and I'm pretty darn sure I musta written about it here cuz at that point I was fed up to HERE with havin' to go down into that hellhole basement where my landlady's miserable alcoholic cat hoardin' sister lives) I could only afford the cheapest model that HomeDepot.com had on sale. So after a few months of doin' lotsa research and checkin' online reviews about the model I was interested in I went for it. Its yer basic GE top-loadin' machine without ANY bells 'n whistles at all and it doesn't even have a gentle cycle on it to boot, but I positively LOVE the damn thing. It does EXACTLY what its supposed to do and it saves me a whole lotta cat/shit/piss/drunks aggravation as well as the wear 'n tear on my body by crawlin' up 'n down 2 flights of steps while carryin' wet AND dry clothes either up or down (neither I nor my landlady who lives beneath me has a clothes dryer, but I DO so LOVE my outdoor clothesline!).

But right before I threw the blazer into the wash, especially after eyein' that "Dry Clean Only" label, I thought to myself: should I REALLY take that chance and machine wash the damn thing? Awww hell, why NOT....I mean, what's the worse that can happen? If worse comes to worse I'll be minus a blazer (not that I can really AFFORD to lose one article of clothing, but I'm just sayyyyyin'.....) so no big friggin' deal here.

And THAT'S when THIS crazy thought hit me (when DON'T they hit me??).....

WHY is it that some people are willin' to go against the rules, some are willin' to break the law, and some are even willin' to go 'n break the bones of others (oh YES they do!), yet hardly ANYONE is willin' to wash a damn garment that is labeled "Dry Clean Only"?

What the hell is up with THAT?

(yeah, yeah, yeah....I know it took me long enuff to get to the damn point, but I GOT here and THAT'S what counts!).

P.S. - the blazer came outta the machine absolutely PERFECT! Anybody got any "Dry Clean Only" stuff they want washed??? ;-)

For $1,500....

2011-04-07T14:21:00.000-07:00

Would YOU pay $1,500 for THIS?

....this sucker BETTER bring my kid to the park without me, put it on the swings 'n push my kid on them darn swings until my kid's heart's content, buy my kid an ice cream or two from the truck, put my kid up on top of the slide then quickly run back around to the front of the slide to catch him/her and keep on doin' it until my kid finally tires of that game, put my kid on the jungle gym 'n stand underneath just in case its gotta catch any falls, keep all the big bullies away from my kid, play catch, hopscotch 'n whatever else my kid wants to do while at the park and then bring my kid back home to me safe 'n sound 'n all tuckered out. Once home it outta also feed 'n give the kid a bath, just for the whoppin' outta pocket cost of $1,500, not to mention just for G.P.

aaarrrrggggggghhhhhhh!

2011-04-02T10:10:00.001-07:00

Since this is now my 3rd try at commentin' on posts (sorry if ya just gotta halfassed incomplete comment, BikerBaby) from this newly purchased touchscreen phone which once and for all outta just touch-my-botched&butchered-right-tit-before-I-fling-it-out-the-friggin'-window, right about now I'm a tad on the twisted side. Nope, make that I'm a whole lotta on the twisted side. This is worse than havin' a bad April Fools joke played on ya every damn day of the year. It takes me three times as long to accomplish anything and gives me a whole lotta aggravation in between. Whoever thinks advancements in technology are a grand thing musta taken too much LSD in their day. And now that I've gotten all that off my chest, I completely forgot what I originally wanted to say. This tiny piece of technology has totally twisted my brain into a gigantic bag of Twizzlers. I'll be back. I hope.

Touch THIS....

2011-03-31T05:13:00.001-07:00

I'm sittin' here in McD's with my new upgraded phone while tryin' to figure the damn thing out with all its touch screen technology and bells 'n whistles and which really ain't goin' so very well I might add and alls I gotta say about it is....touch THIS, muthafucka! I got NO patience for this crap.

Up 'n Runnin'

2011-03-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

As I had previously mentioned a while back (or, at least I THINK I had previously mentioned it a while back) I have finally completed my very own lil' piece-of-the-web.

Yes ladies 'n gents, that's right.....MeanDonnaJean's newest webpage concoction is now up 'n runnin' for yer viewin' pleasure. It ain't much, but it's somethin', at least for the time bein'. I hope this is the link that'll take ya to it:

INeedWeedDotCom

Enjoy!

Soup's On!

2011-03-19T14:58:00.001-07:00

Yummy ;-)

GOTD

2011-03-17T12:24:00.000-07:00

I do believe I'm gonna have to rethink my Gripe of the Day (GOTD) plan as I am no longer any good at keepin' this here blog o' mine updated on a daily, or even a regular, basis. So from now on, GOTD is just gonna have to be renamed Gripe of the Week/Month/Whatever (GOTW/M/WE).

So on that note:

My current GOTW/M/WE is none other than yer typical local public transportation, but more specifically, public buses and the people who ride 'em. Now, I may have already bitched about this but today it irked me so damn much that I just hadda reiterate my feelin's.

First of all, most of us know that on December 1, 1955 in Montgomery, Alabama, Mrs. Rosa Parks, age 42, refused to obey the bus driver's order that she give up her seat to make room for a white passenger. In Montgomery, the first four rows of bus seats were reserved for white people. Buses had "colored" sections for black people which were generally in the rear of the bus. These sections were determined by the placement of a movable sign. Black people could sit in the middle rows until the white section was full. Then they had to move to seats in the rear, stand, or, if there was no room, leave the bus. Black people were not allowed to sit across the aisle from white people. The driver also could move the "colored" section sign, or remove it altogether. If white people were already sitting in the front, black people could board to pay the fare, but then had to disembark and reenter through the rear door. There were times when the bus departed before the black customers who had paid made it to the back entrance.

Out-fuckin'-rageous I say.

But why then, I ask, do today's young (and even some older) African Americans more or less always walk to the REAR of the bus to go sit down? Do they not know about their history or the story of Rosa Parks? I myself take a bus twice a day and every damn day its the same friggin' thing. If there's no room at the back of the bus and they are initially forced to sit up front, they will wait until a rear seat becomes available and will change seats mid-ride. They ALL seem to wanna congregate at the back of the bus. I could MAYBE understand the mindset of some REAL OLD black folk who do this simply outta habit, but what excuse does the younger generation of African Americans have?

I just don't get it. All those years black folk suffered with segregation and the general rotten mistreatment by white folk and NOW they wanna go backwards?

WTF is up with that shit? Anybody out there gotta clue? Cuz I sure don't.

This 1's 4 U, Willy D......again!

2011-03-09T16:50:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to send ya a big public THANK YOU for yer private email query.

I feel better now.

I'm nowhere near bein' "over it", but I AM a bit better.

P.S. - I'll try not to take out my private frustrations on my loyal public anymore :-)

GOTD

2011-03-04T16:53:00.000-08:00

Good evenin' ladies & gentlemen,

Today's topic for MDJ's Gripe o' The Day (GOTD) is none other than............

"Older Brothers".

BUT, to be even more specific:

Older brothers who are Executors of their parents' estate.

Older brothers who think their shit don't stink.

Older brothers who alienate damn near anyone 'n everyone around 'em.

Older brothers who use their tongue like a knife.

Older brothers who been cheatin' on their wife of 20-some-odd-plus years for damn near just as long.

Older brothers who gotta take their dick outta their ass 'n who gotta grow a set of balls while takin' that dick outta their ass.

Older brothers who gotta learn how to discuss things like a MAN instead of bangin' out an extremely hurtful email in order to "get shit off their chest".

Older brothers who are cops (hmmmm.....'nuff said THERE!)

So if there's anybody out there who has an older brother who qualifies in all of the above areas, please feel free to leave all the dirty lil' details in the comments section below.

Thank you, and goodnite.

Mirror Mirror (a/k/a GOTD)

2011-03-02T16:15:00.000-08:00

I just finished spendin' some non-quality time over at Facebook and Flirtomatic. Since comin' down from all the drama 'n the bullshit at both websites, I've thought up a brand new daily topic for my blog. I'm gonna call it "MDJ's Gripe o' the Day" (a/k/a GOTD) and this is gonna be MDJ's GOTD Post #1:

Tell me WHY is it that some people (mostly men....mostly UGLY men....and mostly bare-chested ugly-ass men at that) just loooooove to take pictures of themselves while standin' in front of a mirror? I'm sorry, but some half-naked ugly-ass overly-hairy or sunken-chested or big-beer-bellied fool who's standin' in front of a mirror and who's just a snap-snap-snappin' away at himself is a HUGE turnoff for me....especially when the pic comes out with that huge bright-ass white flash spot in it along with the image of a hand wrapped around the cell phone/camera. And if that ain't bad enuff, there's that awful awkwardness of tryin' to take the pic all by yerself. Ya either gotta get it lined up jusssssssssst riiiiiiiight with the mirror image or else ya wind up havin' one helluva nasty-ass-lookin' pic with either one or all of the above messes in it.

I mean REALLY, come ON now. Don't they have at least ONE FRIEND?...either a girlfriend, a guy friend, a family member, a neighbor, a co-worker, or SOMEBODY who can help 'em out 'n snap a quick pic of 'em? Jeez, if ya don't got any of the above kinda people nearby to help ya out, then maybe ya outta just swallow yer damn pride (oh yeah, like there's a whooooole lotta pride in tryin' to capture yer own image in front of a friggin' mirror) 'n PAY somebody to do it for crissake.

Hell, I'll betcha that some homeless bum on the street would love to take a pic of one of those fools just so he could make a couple o' bucks to put towards his next bottle of Thunderbird. Or better yet, I personally know of some crackheads who'd be dyin' to help these poor pitiful folks out (for a small, small fee that is) just so they can score "one more" vial of crack. I KNOW that they'd be willin' to snap a pic of ANYBODY for a quick buck, or two, or three.

Personally, I think its humiliatin' enuff when yer forced to hold a cell phone camera straight out in front of ya just to take a pic of yerself. But when ya then gotta go 'n stoop to the level of a mirror-assisted cell phone camera shot, well THAT just takes the damn cake in MDJ's book.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that my dear friends is the story of the birth of "MDJ's Gripe o' the Day". Pretty darn smart of me, wouldn't ya say? I mean, I really think that's a brilliant idea I had. It made me so darn happy that I'm just gonna have to show ya what I look like when I'm smilin' from ear to ear. Can ya hang on a sec while I go grab my cell phone? ;-)

DearDiary

2011-02-23T14:04:00.000-08:00

Dear DearDiary.net,

Why haven't u been workin' well 4 me lately? It seems like u really enjoy tauntin' me with yer silly lil' games of "let MDJ in/block MDJ out" (& either 1 can happen instantaneously in the blink of an eye). Why do u keep on givin' me that stupid "problem loadin' page" screen with its stupid "timed out" message, like THIS?

!Problem loading page

The connection has timed out

The server at www.deardiary.net is taking too long to respond.

* The site could be temporarily unavailable or too busy. Try again in a few
moments.

* If you are unable to load any pages, check your computer's network
connection.

* If your computer or network is protected by a firewall or proxy, make sure
that Firefox is permitted to access the Web.

Try Again

.....so, I DO. I try 'n I try 'n I try again. But u STILL don't wanna load 4 me...not in Firefox, not in IE, no place, no how. Never.

So tell me, why do u hate me so much? What have I done 2 u 2 deserve such mistreatment? I've been true blue 2 u 4 many years. I've kept my faithful followers happy with all my insanity & nonsense. I never complained when the site was down for brief periods of time. I've even patted u on the rear end with a "job well done" vote from time 2 time. I've hooked u up with others. I've given u props by linkin' u to my email signatures. I've boasted 2 others how u were the BEST diary site on the web. So I wanna know.....is it because I stayed away 4 so long this time? Is it because I am on my 3rd free diary & now u wanna extort cash outta me? (good luck with THAT one, pal). So tell me, please.....what IS it? What do I have 2 do 2 fix this problem? I've done everything I can think of. I've begged; I've researched; I've pleaded; I've surfed; I've cried; I've hit every darn message board/help website/forum there IS in cyberspace 4 some answers; I've started my compter; I've re-started my computer; I've cleaned out more cookies than I've eaten in a lifetime; I've run spyware software, ad-aware software; virus software; I've c-cleaned, b-cleaned and a-cleaned my system countless times; I've zoned out while tryin' 2 figure out ZoneAlarm; I've tried 2 connect 'n re-connect my CiscoConnect 2 the point where it hardly even recognizes me anymore. I've even harassed Steve via email a few times now in hopes that he'll get sick of me 'n just fix the darn thing already. I'm completely dumbfounded over this problem 4 crissake, 'n I need some answers NOW! So will u please help me? Pretty please? With sugar on top? I'll be yer bestest friend!

But just know THIS: if u DON'T help me/fix it/make it so this NEVER happens again, I'll be yer WORSTEST NITEMARE

Ahhhhhhh NO!

2011-02-20T16:41:00.000-08:00

Okay Ladies, I'm just lookin' out for y'all, so please listen up:

Have any of ya seen the infomercial for The Ahh Bra? Well, *I* did last nite...well, it was more like around 4 a.m. when I got up for a sip o' somethin' cold to drink...and lemme tell ya, it seemed like its the next best thing since sliced bread. I mean, really....what WON'T any lady like about The Ahh Bra's description?:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Discover comfort, discover great looks. Ahh Bra’s breakthrough "Body Form" technology does away with wires, hooks, and adjusting straps. Ahh Bra instantly transforms your appearance. You look great, no more bra lines, no more bulges. Just a great and comfortable look. The active woman in you can now breathe a sigh of relief with the "Ahh Bra" by Rhonda Shear. Make no mistake...they look as comfortable as they appear.

The official information about the Ahh bra claims it is made with “body Form” technology, without wires, hooks, and adjusting straps.

Ahh Bra instantly promises to transform your breast appearance. With no bra lines, or bulges. And on top of it all, it can be a very great and comfortable look.

The Ahh Bra comes in three colors: nude, white, and black, and in "just shop your top" sizes ranging from Extra-Small to 3X. The price is just $59.99 for all 3 colors.

The Ahh Bra is promoted by Rhonda Shear from the shopping channel and it is:

* Seamless microfiber pullover
* V neck, wide shoulder straps
* Soft, full-coverage cups
* Center rouching for bust shaping
* Ribbed band for comfort and support
* 96% nylon, 4% spandex
* Machine wash, tumble dry
* Closed-fitted: follows your curves, outlining your figure

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So after viewin' what could be the answer to just about every woman's prayers, I went online and did a lil' research for the helluvit. It didn't take long to come across a mountain of reviews for The Ahh Bra, such as:

"These bras are not for big breasted women. You will look like a blob! No shape at all, just a blob!"

"They certainly do not look or appear to be the same bras that I saw on TV. They are almost sheer elastic – with no support whatsoever,. I am a 40D – and when I put on the bras it just strapped around me and reminded me of the bands women used to wear. Just flattened out my bosom and gave no support whatsoever."

"The bras had absolutely no support and I looked as good wearing a bandaid as I did wearing these bras."

"I received the bras yesterday and died laughing. I tried the white one on and it reminded me of cutting open a leg of a pantyhose and wrapping it around my chest. I kid you not the fabric in the cup was like pantyhose or tights. You could see everything! I was under the impression that it was a thick fabric that “gave you complete coverage”. Not at all the case. I also thought the band around the bottom was wider and thick. This reminded me of the elastic stitched at the top of a pair of panties. Flimsy and thin. I also felt a pain in my shoulders that went to my face in just a few minutes of wearing the Ahh Bra. It has absolutely no support what so ever. Yes, I wear a large size bra, 40 DD, so maybe if you are an A cup it might be fine, but I would still be concerned about the lack of coverage. I can’t imagine anyone wearing one of these with a white t-shirt. Everyone will see your goodies!"

So there ya have it, ladies. The votes are in. The majority of reviewers gave The Ahh Bra unmistakable reviews of Ahhhhhh NO!

Like I said, I'm just lookin' out for all my lady friends....and their "gals" ;-)

of Heaven 'n Earth

2011-02-19T12:05:00.000-08:00

I just read this comment at someone's blog....

"Any day above ground is a GOOD day"

....and of course, bein' the person I AM, I just HADDA comment on their comment.

So I'll start by sayin' this: do we really KNOW that the above statement is true? Is this simply one man's opinion? Or do we absolutely, positively KNOW that any day above ground (i.e., alive) is better than any day NOT above ground? (i.e., dead)

Yeah, I know. Most folks, especially considerin' the alternative (bein' alive vs. bein' dead), feel it's true. But, not ALL folk feel that way. And, of course, not ME....which brings me to my "story" and an explanation for MDJ's way of thinkin'.

As a youngin', bein' brought up by two Italian parents in a Roman Catholic household, from the day we were born it was drummed into our heads that 1) we are to fear God but 2) Heaven was THE shit...I mean, Heaven was THE ultimate place to be (yes guys, it's supposed to be even BETTER than Sturgis! Imagine THAT!). So if Heaven is supposed to be THAT GREAT, couldn't one say that any day NOT above ground (i.e., dead...cuz ya DO gotta be dead to get to Heaven) is a GOOD day? We'll see.

Everything we did in our daily Catholic lives revolved around eventually grabbin' the golden ring and gettin' ourselves into Heaven. We were taught that at the time of our death the physical part of us dies and gets buried under ground atta cemetery. However, on the other hand, the spiritual part of us (which is REALLY a hard subject for elementary-school-aged kids to grasp...and even some grownups) does NOT die. We were told that the spirit in us goes up to a beautiful love-and-light-filled place called Heaven where we are joined with God and The Blessed Mother and the Angels and all those who have died before us. Once in Heaven we exist only in spirit form, not in physical...and even tho we are taught that some spirits can live on and on and on (but that's a whole other topic for a whole other discussion on a whole other day) I think that's where most people freak out. They can't handle the thought of death...the thought of 'em not bein' in their present alive human form, stuffed into a box 'n shoved way down deep in the dirt where the entire insect world and all their freaky lil' insect cousins can feast on us for many a decade. Yet, if ya think about it, isn't it our SPIRIT that makes us, US? Without the "spirit" part of us, we'd be just a bunch of useless zombie-type-bodies meanderin' thru life without a cause or a care.

Hmmm, I must admit...I DO know a few folk like that :-)

So if our SPIRIT never dies (and our SPIRIT is who we ARE) then one could say that neither do WE, correct? So then why all the hoopla that any day ABOVE ground (i.e., alive) is a GOOD day, when we never REALLY die anyway? And how can one say that bein' alive on earth really beats dyin' and goin' to that all-knowin'-all-wondrous place called Heaven? It don't. Not in MY eyes. And how do I know this? Well my friend, read on.

Now, don't get me wrong....I personally don't feel the way I do way solely on account of my strict religious upbringin' (which really didn't do me a helluva lotta good in any OTHER aspects of my life, LOL). I feel this way, well, because I just sorta knew that "I was there"....or at the very least, I was on my way to Heaven...or whatever ya wanna call it, but I sure wasn't on this earth. But for a very long time I didn't even realize that I WAS there, until one day when those exact words suddenly and very unexpectedly came flyin' outta my mouth (which stunned the hell outta ME, I might add). And the split second after those words DID come flyin' outta my mouth I wondered WHY the hell I had just blurted 'em out...and it was only then that I realized how on one particular day I had experienced somethin' that equated bein' gone from THIS place, above ground, 'n went to some other unknown yet totally-lovin'-peaceful-carin'-beautiful-calmin'-bright-filled-with-light-'n-absolutely-unconditional-true-love place. Could the place that I went to on that very day have been Heaven? THAT, my friends, I really cannot say with 100% certainty. I CAN, however, say that it was probably as close as I'm gonna get, for now. And the only other thing I can tell ya is I KNOW that where I went on that afternoon was DEFINITELY not of this plane or of this dimension...but it sure as hell WAS one GOOD DAY.

And maybe now y'all will understand that when I say I cannot WAIT to get off this hellhole called EARTH, its only cuz I've, well, I've already "been there, done that". Yes, it certainly will be a joyous day for MeanDonnaJean when my physical form dies and my spiritual form returns to that magical place 'n lives on and on and on (just as it HAS been doin' for oodles 'n oodles of years).

Whoops! Sorry...that's a whole OTHER topic for discussion at some OTHER time :-)

M-D-J's in L-U-V!!

2011-02-18T19:38:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy! I finally found love!

I'm totally in love with my just-moved-'em-on-in-tonite down-home delta dude:

It don't take much to make MeanDonnaJean happy :-)

This 1's 4 U, Willy D..........

2011-02-18T14:51:00.001-08:00

From what I just seen over at Dr. Wrench's blog, I think he dun kidnapped my Barbie doll!

No-Man's Land

2011-02-15T16:56:00.000-08:00

Today at work I was expectin' a gentleman who's sellin' a large gorgeous piece of property in upstate NY to one of our clients to come into our office. Since he lives outta state I had originally sent him the deed and all the transfer documents to have him pre-sign 'em prior to closing so that he wouldn't have to attend the closing. But when I received all the paperwork back, I noticed he had failed to have his signature notarized on the deed (even tho I had sent him a typewritten, extremely detailed description on how and where to sign EACH document and which ones needed to be notarized....but, that's a guy for ya. They NEVER read instructions.)

Anyway, at about 12 somethin' he called 'n said he was on his way and that he would arrive in approximately 1.5 hours which ended up to be PERFECT timin' cuz my boss was fixin' on leavin' the office today by 2 p.m. sharp. At about 1:00 he calls 'n says that he's lost....that he's been tryin' to use his auto's navigation system but that when he enters in the actual name of our city (which as y'all know I have dubbed "The Bowels of Hell"), nuthin' comes up on his system. He says he's tried a few times and that he just doesn't understand what's goin' on.....then he asks me if there's another name for this city that he could enter into the system instead. Well, at that point I just couldn't help myself....after my first few giggles, I started crackin' up. I couldn't stop laughin'! Thankfully, HE was laughin' right along with me, but lil' did he know what *I* was laughin' at. He was soooo perplexed about WHY his system was not comin' up with a name that was even close to ours, and it was right then 'n there that I really wanted to blurt out "oh, wait....try The Bowels of Hell!". I just didn't have the heart to tell him that his nav system wasn't showin' us cuz "we're all blacked out" in this lovely lil' city of ours :-)

In the end however he DID finally make it to the office, and right in the nick of time, too. The boss was just packin' up to go 'n I myself was gettin' a bit anxious. So at the last minute I had him sign a new deed and I thanked him & wished him well. It was then he confessed that he wasn't enterin' the name of our city into his system completely spelled out -- he was usin' its abbreviation & claims that's why he was havin' all that trouble findin' us. But *I* still believe its cuz he's a white guy who was tryin' to locate an entirely blacked out land ;-)

And now for a brief MDJ comment-to-comment moment:

Lady Ridesalot: Yes, u most certainly still ARE here, my dear....& thank God for THAT! Jeez, I thought damn near everyone had pulled a MDJ on Blogger and had hi-tailed it on outta here. And even tho I still ain't been able to keep my eyes open for any longer than to check my 3 e-mail accounts and/or update a bit here 'n there, I DO plan on somehow, someway, someday gettin' caught up with those of u here who remained steadfast & who didn't desert me durin' my MIA period...such as yerself, to whom I once again tip my hat 'n say thank you.

Punch: I reckon the difference between u & me is that (and sometimes very stupidly I might add) my "I don't give a shit" attitude far outweighs my fear of repercussions from family re my FB posts. Last nite I even brought this same subject up to my younger bro on account of a cross-country-livin'-but-much-older-cousin of ours requested to add me as a FB friend. I was a bit worried that one day she may suddenly grasp her chest while readin' my shit...and if she should expire while in the midst, I'll also have THAT death weighin' heavily on my mind for the rest of my life. I later came to the conclusion that "hey, WTF....SHE asked for it!" as I quickly hit the "confirm" button ;-)

Short & Sweet

2011-02-14T16:09:00.000-08:00

While I was piddlin' thru some of my saved graphic websites to make my up 'n comin' new webpage, I came across this website which has some outstandingly beautiful free wallpapers to choose from:

Desktop Nexus

Ya don't need to sign up or log in to use it, and the BEST part is that its all FREE....both money wise and virus wise. I myself gravitated more towards the Nature and Motorcycle galleries and I found quite a few of 'em to add to my collection. After ya download the ones ya like and ya see 'em in their automatic proper resolution for yer computer, their beauty can simply blow ya away.

So I thought I'd share some of that beauty with my bloggin' buds.

Enjoy.

OMG! I just hadda thought!

2011-02-12T09:31:00.000-08:00

Since I now have my computer basically back to myself (that $500+ laptop that I got my son for Christmas was WELL worth it....it turned out to be much less than the time we used to spend arguin' over whose computer time it was at the moment, all the aggravation that arguin' had caused the both of us, AND the $$$ spent), lately I've been thinkin' about buildin' (and I use that term VERY loosely, for I really cannot build a damn THING) another web page. Years ago, back when I had AOL's Dial-Up as my ISP (OMG, did I actually just cop to that?) I had used FrontPage to make a page that I entitled "I NEED WEED DOT COM". It was just another one of my attempts at usin' basic HTML (which I STILL dunno squat about), and it was a very juvenile one at that, but I gotta kick outta puttin' it all together 'n publishin' it in AOL's Home Pages. However, once AOL caught on to it & actually looked at it, they completely wiped it out & deleted all my pics 'n stuff, sayin' that it was in violation of AOL's Terms of Service (yeah, like anybody actually READ those darn things to begin with!....I mean REALLY, what's WRONG with smokin' a lil' weed every now 'n then, huh?).

Anyway, I've been thru approximately 3 "new" computers since that time, but somehow I managed to locate a few of the pics I had previously used to put the page together. At the time I hadn't known nuthin' about the site I now use to keep all my pics & graphics at so after losin' 'em all to AOL, findin' 'em was a real time consumin' project (which I now have PLENTY of now that my kid ain't beggin' to use the computer all the damn time!). And now that I HAVE found 'em, I may just put ANOTHER one together again. I don't have FrontPage anymore, but I DID just download a freebie HTML web designer online called Nvu, so I think I'm gonna give it a good ol' college try, again. And just as I did in my multiple blogs/diaries, I think I'll name this new one "I NEED WEED DOT COM II". Yeah! Its gotta certain ring to it, dontcha think?....or is all that buzzin' I keep hearin' in my head due to smokin' much too much of the stuff? LOL (which, in all honesty, I do NOT do at ALL....but, it made ya laff now, didn't it?).

So now that I've just downloaded Nvu, I'm gonna have to go do some piddlin' around with it so I can get the hang of it. Like I said, I'm not real good with that kinda stuff, so it may take me a while. Besides that, I'm smack dab in the midst of doin' two loads of laundry (see? not MUCH has changed with me at ALL since I've been gone) so who knows how long it'll take & when I'll have the darn thing completed. But you can be rest assured that I WILL be back here, boastin' 'n braggin' about my "new & improved" lil' piddly pot web page....so keep yer eyes open folks!

But until then, have a GREAT weekend.

Status Updates Por Favor

2011-02-11T16:34:00.001-08:00

I was just lookin' over my list of blogs that I had originally flagged to follow when I first started here. Since its been so damnn long since I've been here myself and when I checked tonite I didn't see any recent action comin' from some of 'em, I hope y'all can gimme some updates about the followin' blogs:

Did The Peach Tart really go private on me or did she just sorta poop out like *I* did? I saw that her last post was 7 months ago. She was always a good one for a lil' laughter 'n bit of raunchiness, so I'm kinda missin' her tonite (hey, we could ALL use a lil' more L-O-L 'n S-E-X in our lives, can't we?);

Whatever happened to Back Seat Bikermomma? Did she go 'n fall off that darn bike's back seat and now she's off somewhere recouperatin'? If so, I hope she at least filed for litigation and that she's goin' for the kill with some BIG BUCKS lawsuit (which'll probably take a lifetime to win so see?....all the more reason why she shoulda been on the FRONT seat to begin with!);

As far as Awkward Things My Mother Never Taught Me goes, it seems like she musta went 'n got her silly self knocked up, so by now she's probably VERY MUCH pregnant indeed. To be honest, I really think she hit the nail right on the head with the name of her blog (if only her mother DID teach her about birth control, she never woulda been pukin' up her guts for all those months in the first place!);

Now, about that Curdled dude....well, since HE ain't been around lately either, I reckon he's now just a big lump of cottage cheese floatin' around somewhere in cyberspace. Poor guy. Whadda friggin' awful way to go;

I noticed that the last time Letters From the Weary posted anything was one year ago. Damn, and here I thought that *I* slept a lot! Now THAT'S what I call one tired-ass muthafucka!;

And it looks like The Devil's Daughter-in-Law has been MIA for a year as hell. Oh shit, I mean, as WELL. And nope, I ain't touchin' THAT ONE with a ten THOUSAND foot pole. Remember..........God don't like UGLY!

So if any of ya got ANY news about ANY of the above, I'd really appreciate a holler (or two, or three).

Okay folks, I'm outta here.

See ya!

Feelin' the love

2011-02-08T16:21:00.000-08:00

Thank y'all for your gracious 'n kind comments on my most recent return. It makes me feel so, so, WANTED...so LOVED! (and trust me, that's a VERY difficult emotion for me to feel these days). I wish I wasn't so damn tired all the time so that I could sit here long enuff to play catch up with everyone that I used to enjoy followin'. Even rite now, my eyes are very heavy 'n I'm just about ready to hit the showers and the bed...so I'm just gonna have to do a very short 'n sweet hello/goodbye here tonite.

But before I go, I would like to leave ya with this petition link:

Petitions by Change.org|Start a Petition »

I just KNEW there hadda be a reason why I never wanted flowers for birthdays/holidays/special occasions in the first place, and that must be the reason why.

G'nite dear bloggers, wherever you are. And thank you again, for EVERYTHING!

Effin' Facebook

2011-02-06T16:27:00.000-08:00

Helllloooooooo! :::::wavin' to the masses::::: Anybody hooooome?

Okay, first off I've gotta confess that I'm in, like, a real hurry rush here, since I'm SUPPOSED TO BE washin' all the damn gray outta my hair right at this very moment, so this is gonna be a MDJ Quickie.

Of course, I also must confess that for the last 40 minutes or so I've been TRYIN' to somehow put my new MDJ's Big Game Nite Poll (over there <) on my Facebook page, but who knew that FB don't allow any of that kinda stuff on their precious poo-poo-we-think-we're-just-too-damn-good-for-you-to-do-that-to-us pages.....fools that they are. So because of that fact, I think I may have to start spendin' a whole lotta more time back over HERE rather than over THERE as I have been doin'. I'm such a baaaad girl for stayin' away this long :-(

Besides, I like this bunch of peeps MUCH better :-)

So anyway, the poll is just somethin' silly that I thought up while washin' the dinner dishes tonite and its really one that only 1 person will be able to correctly answer, but my twisted way of thinkin' figured "hey, why the hell NOT!"....so, I DID.

So that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

And on that note, I shall be back.

Hopefully, with a NEW and IMPROVED head of non-gray hair color on my head.

Outta the Depths of The Bowels....

2010-09-05T04:36:00.000-07:00

....she arises.

So for those of ya who've been wonderin' (many thanx for tryin' to keep tabs on me, Biker Baby....and I'm real sorry I never answered yer other emails) yes, I'm still alive. Perhaps not so well, but still here nonetheless.

So first and foremost, no....there have been no additional deaths since last I was here. I don't THINK so....at least, none that I may slightly care about anyway. I dunno if I really coulda handled any more, but what the hell.

Secondly, yeah, I'm still a freakin' mess, but the upside is that I finally found a new PCP (primary care physician)...one who doesn't talk to me with its back turned and who doesn't just hand me the same ol' refill scrips without payin' any kinda REAL attention to the actual problem. This new doc is pretty damn good so far....a female, which is unusual for me, but she does EVERYTHING...from ENT to GYN and even then some.....so considerin' the fact that I ain't had ANY kinda GYN work since my last baby was born (1992!)I think I've met my match. The doc already got me mammo'd (same results as last time only this time I'm refusin' another "butcher biopsy") and she's really pushin' for me to finally give in to proppin' my swollen feet up in them stinkin' stirrups so she can go searchin' in my body's deepest darkest places that NOBODY'S been in for a few years now. Hey, she's lucky I let her see my tits for crissake. It's a start.

Some more news from outta The Bowels is that MDJ is now in therapy...thanx to the above PCP. On my very first visit to her she caught on to my depression and she acted on it. The last asshole doc I had I went to for at least 13 years....but I reckon with yer back turned to me most of the time ya just can't quite catch on to the full scope of whats goin' on with yer patients. Anyway, so I go to therapy once a week, altho durin' my last appointment the therapist eluded to the fact that she wonders if I am REALLY and TRULY depressed, or could it be somethin' ELSE...then she went on vacation for two weeks. Looks like another idiot I'm gonna have to constantly deal with, but I'll be seein' her retarded ass again on Tuesday, so I reckon this'll be one of those TBC (to be continued) situations.

My youngest son turned 18 on July 1st, altho he still ain't gotta damn job. He's addicted to this damn computer....up all night, sleeps all day.....and he has no desire to really get crackin'. I'm gonna crack him upside his head if he thinks he's gonna live with ME the rest of his damn lazy life.

My youngest daughter has a new boyfriend, only its one whom I'm notta real big fan of since he's in the same damn boat as I am, only much much worse. For starters, he's damn near MY age (she's gonna be 26 on 9/27), he's been in 'n outta jail just about as often as my older son has (whose still out 'n about, thank you God!), he's got ONLY a part time job takin' out the garbage a few times a week someplace in NYC, he's on a real high dose of methadone AND he's still shootin' dope like a...well, like a dope fiend! My daughter calls me up constantly cryin' about this fool and I constantly end up screamin' at her 'n hangin' up on her...cuz she NEVER takes my advice and just looses this asshole. She conveniently forgets what *I* went thru...how bad it was with my own demons AND with the asshole men that *I* used to bring home from time to time. Well, like my dearly departed Mother always told ME "you made yer bed young lady...!"

But the BIGGEST news from here in The Bowels is: Rip is gone. After almost 10 years of our semi-long distance datin' goin' back 'n forth between The Bowels and Berlin, NY, he sold EVERYTHING....our house and the entire contents of, the bikes, the cars, EVERYTHING!, and he moved down to North Carolina. He got broke while waitin' for his UNION job to finally resume again, and I reckon he got disgusted while waitin' for ME to finally make the permanent move up North to Berlin. So he just up 'n left me :-(

And that stupid bitch therapist says I'm not depressed.

Well folks, this is where I'm gonna end for now, for I desperately need to go blow my nose and grab a cup of coffee. I reckon ya've noticed that I'm hardly online anymore (thanx to my computer-hoggin' son) but I do try to access Facebook from my cell phone as often as I can. You can check me out under the name of Donna Jean Rocchio (and for all you sociopathic stalkers who may be lurkin' out there, here's a warning: I wouldn't try it if I were you!) and thats about the best way to contact me these days. I still do check my email from time to time, but not as often.

So thanx for tunin' into MeanDonnaJean's Looney Tunes Lifetime channel.

Catch ya'll on the rebound!

And another one bites the dust.......

2010-04-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

For as much as I would love to linger 'n play catch up tonite with everyone here I really don't gotta whole lotta time to hang around to do so. But the reason for my quick come 'n go getaway is that I just cannot fuckin' believe that I am here yet again airin' yet again more bad news about yet again another goddamn death in my life.

Will this EVER end?

Dunno if any of ya recall the story about my dear friend Maryanne who had married my OTHER dear friend Jimmy (who was also one of my exes) back in October of 2008 but who was then found brutally murdered in November 2009. I hate to even admit that her killer is STILL at large 'n due to the so-called sticky circumstances surroundin' her death 'n the fucked up detectives personal views on the whole matter probably WILL BE at large for ever.

But in any event, early yesterday mornin' at 8 a.m. I gotta phone call from Jimmy's mom lettin' me know that Jimmy had passed away at 3 a.m. that mornin'. His heart finally gave out. He had been recently diagnosed with and fought a pretty damn courageous battle with colon cancer, which he really didn't need with all the other medical problems he had, and it had rapidly progressed to a stage where nothing more could be done for him medically.....so he just sat around in a hospital for a long stretch filled with excruciatin' pain 'n just waitin' to die.

He recently promised me that he'd wait for ME to "go" with him......dammit!!!

So bright 'n early tomorrow mornin' I'm gonna have to go say a final goodbye to my long-time buddy/ex-lover/ex-shootin' partner/forever friend, Jimmy.

I'm really gonna miss my lil' "Jimmito Bibbito" as I always affectionately called him, but once again I have just a smidge of comfort knowin' that he is finally back together with the OTHER love of his life, his new bride Maryanne.

May they both finally rest in peace. I love them both.

Here 'n Gone

2010-04-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

I know its been quite a while since I've been here, so long so in fact that it took me a while to even remember my login details. But now that I'm here.......

I just wanna say many thanx to you Punch for givin' me that swift kick in the ass that I so very much needed. It's not that I've completely forgotten about ya, nor did I forget about anyone else at this place either, but its more the fact that I've just been too damn exhausted physically 'n emotionally to sit down at this computer for any length of time to do anything more than quickly check a few emails 'n pay a few bills here 'n there (hence the reason why I'm here NOW I might add).

I'm still in the same routine/rut as I have been......wake up for work @ 6 a.m., literally drag myself home by 3:30 p.m., take off the "good" clothes 'n put on the "bad" clothes, quickly throw in a load or two of laundry, lay on the bed to watch tv while waitin' for the clothes to finish, conk out, wake up, finish the load or two of laundry, maybe wash a couple of dishes, go back on the bed to watch a few more minutes of tv, conk out again, wake back up, grab a bite to eat 'n go pee, go back on the bed, conk out again, wake back up, go shower, grab a cup of pineapple juice, go back on the bed, conk out again, sleep thru the nite, wake up for work @ 6 a.m., trudge back home....

.....and that's about all the energy I have at this stage of the game. As a matter of fact, I'm actually noddin' off right here right now while tryin' to type this so now I'm gonna go over to my bank's website, pay the bills that are soon due, then get the hell off this thing 'n go do what I do best. Sleep.

I DO miss y'all tho. I truly DO. Yer quite a great group to know.

Sorry I couldn't stay any longer. Hopefully, next time I will.

Forgive Me, Blogger......

2010-02-12T17:26:00.000-08:00

Forgive me, Blogger, for I have sinned.

It's been I dunno how freakin' long since my last post BUT...I've got quite a few helluva good reasons for my lengthy absence, so please make my postin' penance a light one.

Well, it looks like it's off to the funeral races yet again for MeanDonnaJean. Yes, I have ANOTHER funeral to attend early in the a.m. tomorrow in CT. There must be somethin' seriously sinister brewin' down that quaint Connecticut block, for my parent's 89 year old next door neighbor, Angie, hath just passed.

I was born 'n raised in the house next to hers, and Angie was there long before my fat lil' ass ever stepped foot into it. Our two homes sit side-by-side and are identical to one another. Both homes were newly built on prime country land that used to be a workin' dairy farm owned by the Joss family, who still call a portion of that same general area home. My folks purchased our home not long after Angie got divorced from what was apparently a severe gamblin' husband. Angie was a single mom long before bein' a single mom was ever heard of, nonetheless ever thought of as bein' "cool". Angie was a divorced young woman who raised her one and only child, a son (who very coincidentally has the same name as my father....hmmmmm???) on her own....and she did a helluva great job at it, too. Angie lived and died in that very same home....the same as my Mom did before her, and not too very long after my Dad passed as well. I guess tightly-knit CT community members do that kinda thing.

Anyway, so since Angie and her son were ALWAYS there for US, the newly orphaned remaining Longo siblings must now be there for HER, and that we WILL.

So MDJ is off on another early mornin' train ride to CT to once again mourn yet another dearly beloved soul who has departed this earth. This year has really begun with a miserable BANG.

Oh, did I fail to mention that in between the time of my Dad's passing on 1/16 and Angie's passing, that my bosses mother-in-law passed too? Unfortunately I never DID make THAT wake/funeral tho. The very recent blizzard of 2010 putta stop to that one (thank God for THAT.....but I SWEAR, if I have ONE MORE fuckin' FUNERAL to attend, I'm gonna be attendin' my OWN!).

The Service

2010-01-23T18:14:00.001-08:00

Today I hadda say a heart wrenchin' final goodbye to the last parent I had left on this earth, my Dad. It was one of the most difficult things I hadda do, besides doin' the same for my Mom 9 months ago and when I buried my husband twenty years ago. In between then 'n now I've seen many come 'n even many more go, but losin' yer last remainin' parent has gotta be one of the worst.

The church was packed, which was a sight to behold in itself, and it was filled with numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, family, friends, family friends 'n business associates of both my mother and father, but all of whom I hadn't seen for at least forty or so years. My two brothers took the reins 'n really did a marvelous job at settin' everything up per my Dad's written last wishes. The two priests who said the mass were a second cousin of mine and a family friend, and they couldn'ta done a more beautiful job of it. I sat thru the entire mass with tears streamin' down my face and tryin' to deep breathe as best I could so that the emotional wreck that I was wouldn't burst out cryin'. My second cousin personalized the mass in a way that no other priest could when he tearily began with the words "we have joined together in God to remember Bert, a man who knew me since I was in diapers" then continued on to describe my Dad by quotin' verbatim the meanin' of the word "gentleman" which he had printed out straight from the search pages of Google. That WAS my Dad, a real true gentle man.

As if sittin' thru my Dad's funeral mass weren't hard enuff, after a huge number of us went to eat at another cousin's restaurant, my two brothers, with their wives and my kids in tow, all went back to my parent's now empty home. Yes, all the furniture, clothes and everything else was still in place, but the loving spirit that resided there is now no more. I think THAT was THE hardest part of the day....walkin' into the home I was born 'n raised in, knowin' that neither my Mom nor my Dad was gonna be there greetin' with a smile 'n a hug 'n kiss. And that's when I completely lost it.

My brothers tried to comfort me the best they knew how, and both my kids were real troupers as well, but dealin' with this loss is gonna be painful for quite a while. And to make matters even worse, the three of us kids now must have the horrible task of siftin' thru 55 years worth of both my Mom's and my Dad's personal mementos, memories, knick knacks, furniture, clothing, documents, etc. and must decide who wants/needs what and whats gonna get donated to where. I do know that most of my parent's summer clothes are gonna get donated to the people in Haiti and their winter clothing is gonna go to either the Red Cross or Salvation Army or some sorta charity organization such as those, but there is tons of other stuff that now must be resolved. Thankfully I was not appointed the awful task of bein' the Executor of my father's estate....that task now falls on the shoulders of my older brother....so he's gonna have his hands full for quite a long time to say the least. Even tho my Dad had long prepared for this day via written documentation of EVERYTHING, its still gonna be a long drawn out exhaustin' process. I hope we can all live thru it.

Now that this day has ended I am both mentally 'n physically exhausted beyond belief. But there is still the private burial to attend on Monday which means we're gonna have to endure heartache once more. However, from what I was told by both brothers and from what I actually read in my father's burial wishes, its gonna be just a formality at best....a quick 5 minute meaningless completely private affair that's gonna basically consist of my father's urn bein' laid on top of my mother's casket, end of story, period. No prayers are to be said, no eulogy is to be mentioned, no funeral procession is to go to the cemetary, nothin'. It's gonna be a plain ol' "just drop me in 'n cover me up" kinda thing, according to my father's last written wishes. So I'm not even sure if I'm gonna make the hour long train trip up to CT 'n the hour long train trip back to NY for a quick 5 minutes of cryin' my eyes out one last time. My brothers are NOT expectin' me to attend and I think if they had their way they probably wouldn't either....but I reckon somebody's gotta be there to make sure Dad's final wishes are carried out to a T, or else he'll probably come back 'n haunt all three of us for the remainder of our miserable now orphaned lives.

Jeez, I've really gotta go to sleep, so I'm leavin' off right here, right now, and just like this.

G'nite all.

Saying Goodbye

2010-01-16T14:20:00.000-08:00

Gotta phone call from my older brother while at work yesterday alertin' me to the fact that my father was once again hospitalized in CT 'n that he wasn't doin' well at all. After listenin' to all the medical details about what was goin' on with my dad I informed my brother that I'd be on a Saturday mornin' train with the kids and we'd get up to Stamford to see him.

I never did getta chance to see him today, nor did I getta chance to tell him one last time that I love him or say goodbye to him.

My father passed away at 1:15 this mornin'.

The only positive thing outta this whole negative is that my dad is now back where he belongs...he's back with the one 'n only true love of his life, my mom, the woman to whom he was married 'n still madly in love with for 55 years. Seein' her again was his only desire since she passed in April, 2009....and in my heart o' hearts I KNOW that they are together again 'n will be forever, and for that I am extremely grateful.

**************************************************************************************

Dear Dad,

I know I've caused you an awful lotta heartache 'n pain for the past 40 years, 'n that you 'n Mom constantly worried 'n prayed for me every single day. I know we didn't have the best or even the closest father/daughter relationship, 'n at times we were even downright mean 'n nasty to each other, yet for that 'n for so much more, you always forgave me. As the years went by 'n I had children of my own, our relationship grew better....grew stronger....'n eventually notta day went by that I didn't love you, think about you, 'n wish that you could be with us forever. I may notta always been the best of daughters Dad, but I want you to know that you were always the best of fathers. I also want you to know that I will always love you 'n that you will never ever be forgotten.

Now you can strum on your guitar 'n serenade Mom up in Heaven for all eternity. Rest in peace, my dearest Daddy. I do love you.

Your one 'n only daughter, Donna Jean

**************************************************************************************

My Pal Joey

2010-01-10T13:10:00.000-08:00

It's been almost one whole year since he left us. We will never forget.....

2nd question of the year

2010-01-03T13:41:00.000-08:00

My son is on the verge of another round of either strep throat or mono (yes, again!) so he's been on lockdown these past few days, but this mornin' he hadda great question so I figured I'd come here 'n ask it on his behalf. He began his mornin' brilliancy with writin' down EVERYTHING he wanted to say cuz his throat hurt him that bad, but eventually as the day wore on he loudly kinda whispered somethin' to me like this:

"Mom, since the U.S. is in such bad shape and needs money so bad, why doesn't the government just make more? {insert MDJ chuckle here} Seriously Mom! What's the big deal? Why can't they just print up a big batch o' bills whenever they need more? Why NOT? It's ONLY paper!"

I dunno if I was so stunned that he actually THOUGHT about this dire economic issue of ours or if his question just threw me for a loop cuz it was so completely outta character of the kid (cuz he's NEVER been that deep before) but I just couldn't answer him. But quite honestly, when ya think about it on its most simplest level (in other words, in MDJ's simple-ass mind), he kinda hadda point. What IS the big deal about just firin' up the ol' machine 'n printin' out MO' MONEY? Let's just pay off our bazillion dollars of debt 'n begin anew, right?

I myself ain't feelin' so darn great today either. For the past 3 days I've been feelin' like a cut pig (altho I really outta look as darn good as THIS) but to spare ya I ain't gonna go into any more detail.

So folks, I'm countin' on ya to help me out here. Pwitty pweeze?...with bacon on top!

First Question of the New Year

2010-01-01T11:05:00.000-08:00

First off folks, happy new year to all. Hope everyone got home safe 'n sound. If ya didn't go out (like moi) then I hope ya hadda grand ol' time sittin' by yerself (like moi....altho I wasn't able to get drunk or even catch a lil' buzz, AGAIN!)

Second off folks, this here is my very first question of the very new year. This here is just a tiny sample o' the kinda stupidest silliest lil' things that pop inside my head at the stupidest silliest kinda moments. I'm not EVEN gonna tell ya when THIS one hit me. Just use yer imaginations.

What do the letters P & Q stand for in the statement "mind yer p's & q's"? I've gotta couple o' ideas but wanna know what the consensus is on this matter.

That's all folks.

Downtown in The Bowels

2009-12-25T08:09:00.000-08:00

I snapped this pic the other day while waitin' for a bus to take me home after a very long day of workin' 'n food shoppin'. This is the new 'n improved downtown Bowels...a multi-million-dollar transformation of the so-called transportation hub of the city.

Dunno if ya can see it well enuff or not, but do ya notice the seagulls flyin' around 'n sittin' perched way up high on the lamp posts?

Now, there ain't a drop of seawater, well water, or any other friggin' kinda water (except pools of piss) located within a hundred miles of this place. Well, maybe notta hundred miles, but I'm sure ya get my drift. But those annoyin' seagulls have been lurkin', breedin', flyin', feedin' 'n shittin' around this same damn area since *I* came here in '83. I dunno what the hell they're doin' here or why, but they'll probably be here long after I'm gone.

Just as long as they don't come hangin' around MY house, I could care less about 'em.

MDJ's Decked Halls

2009-12-25T07:59:00.000-08:00

Christmas morning, MeanDonnaJean's way...

Conspiracy Theory

2009-12-24T15:43:00.000-08:00

Did anyone catch the new show "Conspiracy Theory" (remember that fantastic movie of the same name starrin' Julia Roberts 'n Mel Gibson read all about it) last nite with the ex-wrestlin'-star-turned-Governor Jesse (he'll always be lovingly known as "The Body" to me) Ventura? He did a very informative show about InfraGard Big Brother's Binoculars. As were his two previous shows, this one was a real thought-provoker as well, so I'd love to see some comments from those of ya who viewed it.

So step up folks...now its yer turn to type!

It's Christmas Eve....

2009-12-24T15:41:00.000-08:00

and I'm just sittin' here waitin' for Santa to come down the chimney...so I can lite a fire 'n smoke his jolly fat ass right back up 'n out!

The TRUE Christmas Story, TShirtHell Style

2009-12-22T13:41:00.000-08:00

* The Unauthorized First Christmas *

Christmas is here and that can mean only one thing: and while I have no idea what that one thing is, I'm sure it's a huge load. But whatever it means, I thought now would be a good time to share with you the story of how it all began. Christianity is so pervasive in our society that even the staunchest atheist and most indifferent agnostic think they know the story, but you've been sold a lie. Here, the TRUE story of the first Christmas.

Long ago in the town of Nazareth, there lived a girl named Mary who was engaged to a man named Joseph. One day a man named Gabriel, clearly in the midst of an opium-induced freak-out, broke into Mary's room and nervously muttered something about Mary having a "God-baby" and how she must name it "Jesus" so Gabriel would be forced to give his penis a new name. Mary sat in stunned silence, wondering why this man had ripped the wings off a goose and nailed them to his back.

Soon after Gabriel's visit, it became obvious Mary was pregnant. Mary explained to Joseph this must be the "God-baby" the "winged man" told her about. Joseph quickly agreed and convinced Mary her unexplained black-outs and vaginal bruises were nothing to be concerned with. They were quickly married and Joseph told Mary they must head for Bethlehem immediately to pay a "special tax." When Mary asked about this special tax, Joseph responded, "Just get on the damn donkey."

At last they reached Bethlehem. After being turned away from several inns, it dawned on Joseph that others were not sympathetic to his plight. There was simply no way this many inns became "full" every time Joseph asked the innkeeper to "take care of this thing for me." But eventually a kind innkeeper told Joseph, "Yeah, I can do that. Just wait out back next to the goats."

Upon seeing Mary, it became obvious to the innkeeper that Joseph had misled him about the state of Mary's condition. He reneged on the deal and told Joseph to "do what you gotta do" in the stable and that the fee for his discretion would be "the same as for the other thing." Joseph tried to handle it but was constantly interrupted by curious passers-by. It was too late. The baby Jesus was born.

Meanwhile, on a hill overlooking Bethlehem, some shepherds watched their sheep. Suddenly, a man on fire appeared on a hill above them. Suffering unimaginable pain, the man shouted "STRANGE SMELL FROM COD! TODD'S SON HAS BEAN-CORN AND BETH THE HAM!" The shepherds heard something different and, with nothing else to do, headed to Bethlehem to see what that was about.

Once there, the shepherds searched for the Son of God. They tried to start the search in a tavern, but were stunned to see a baby lying in a pile of straw and animal waste. Deciding one baby is as good as another, they knelt down to worship him. Mary asked if the "winged man" spoke to them too. The shepherds exchanged glances before one responded "Um, I only noticed the glowing, but now that you mention it, he DID have wings." Joseph was weirded out, but decided to run with it.

In the East, Wise Men saw a new star in the sky. They had no idea what this meant. And since Wise Men must appear wise, one of them, while the others weren't looking, grabbed a scroll and jotted down that this meant a new ruler had been born. The others wondered how they had never before seen this text on their only scroll, but didn't want to look foolish by questioning a Wise Man.

The Wise Men set off to find this baby. They followed the star to Bethlehem. Stars are in space and can, for all intents and purposes, lead you to any location, but Bethlehem was here and they were tired. Later, while relieving themselves outside a stable, they heard Jesus cry. Appalled by the sight of a mother so young, they left the child everything they had, which included a small amount of gold and a couple sacks of gum resin they regrettably traded a camel for.

These men, angry with Joseph, waited for his return. Joseph pulled the men aside and explained. The Wise Men, while outraged at the idea that anyone would attempt to justify impregnating a young girl, decided it was better for her and the baby to live the lie. They assured Joseph his secret was safe, but did ask if they could use his tale for "this book of silly stories we're writing."

And that's why there's a tree in your living room and you annually put your kid on a fat stranger's lap. Merry Arbitrarily Chosen 24 Hours, everybody!

TShirt Hell

This one's for YOU, Punch..........

2009-12-19T20:13:00.000-08:00

You requested, I delivered. But it's the best I could do so very late at nite:

So effin' wrong.....

2009-12-19T17:29:00.000-08:00

Well, it looks like I mighta been wrong about that snow not comin'. It's here allright 'n its blowin' down with a flurry furry! Thank God for that snow bottle we were given at the program this a.m. That means MeanDonnaJean won't have to put on her new snow boots 'n trudge thru mounds 'n mounds o' the white stuff across town tomorrow a.m. Thank God for snow boots anyway, even tho I won't have to break 'em in tomorrow. I won't even have to make my daily stop at Sal's Deli tomorrow cuz MDJ finally got SMART 'n began bringin' home two days worth of weekend breakfasts on Saturdays....one for Saturday, one for Sunday....instead of havin' to go back out again on Sundays. Thank God for regeneratin' brain cells. Wow, I can hear people outside shovelin' as I sit here 'n type. Thank God for not bein' a homeowner :-)

And speakin' of so effin' wrong.......

How is it that my son....my unemployed-but-who-never-hadda-damn-job-anyway, now-un-fully-educated son, gets to go out tonite to a new local restaurant for a nice hot dinner with his friends (which *I* paid for nonetheless), while *I* sit at home eatin' a cold damn ham/turkey/swiss sandwich?

Now THAT'S effin' WRONG!

Hardly EVER Happenin's

2009-12-19T14:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my beloved boss threw me a bonus for an estate I had been workin' on solely for the past five (5!) years 'n which FINALLY closed out yesterday with me writin' 'n mailin' HUGE-ASS checks to all thirteen heirs (those lucky-ass freakers). It was an enormous relief 'n I was ecstatic just to be DONE with the damn thing once 'n for all....but when he presented me with a check o' my very own accompanied by a couple o' "well done" pats on the head, I was floored.....not to mention oh so appreciative 'n grateful. I'm just now hopin' that this unexpected bonus won't jeopardize the usual holiday bonus I normally get, which should be any day now.

With the many snow alerts that have been runnin' night 'n day on t.v. came another lovely surprise for some of us here in Westchester County. Due to the upcomin' 12-14" of snow we're expectin' here our local MMTP Clinic decided to close its doors tomorrow 'n give everyone a "snow bottle" for the day. Not that it impacted ME all that much cuz I don't go there on Sundays anyway, but it WAS a nice surprise all in all....'n its somethin' that has only been done on TWO other occasions in the last 25 years. Go friggin' figure.

My son, my son....my lovely 'n darlin' 17 year old son, actually did MOST of his chores this week 'n he did 'em all without me havin' to nag him about 'em every half hour 'n without givin' me any aggravation at that. This is another somethin' that hardly EVER happens to MeanDonnaJean, so I'm guessin' that the only reason he did this is cuz its almost Christmas Day. Now don't get me wrong......he didn't do 'em all as an early Christmas gift to his dear ol' Mom but rather cuz he expects his dear ol' Mom to give HIM his Christmas gifts early.....like, today, perhaps....? Hell, if he had HIS way, he woulda already got 'em two weeks ago. But that's just the way he rolls, my lovely 'n darlin' son, so what more can I say?

And finally, I've been on this computer for approximately one whole hour now....'n within that one whole hour I have not heard one darn peep from my son about "how much longer ya gonna be on?" or "what's for dinner?" or "can *I* get on now?" or stuff like that. These past two days have been damn near fuckin' AMAZIN' I tell ya....a couple o' days of many firsts in the life of MDJ....'n probably LASTS.

Santa's BIGGEST Lil' Secret

2009-12-19T10:16:00.000-08:00

WORD IS OUT: RUDOLPH'S RED NOSE MAY JUST BE MAKEUP

DEAR ABBY:

With the holidays here, songs about Santa and his reindeer are filling the air. I'm writing to talk about reindeer antlers. Reindeer are unique because they are the only members of the deer family in which both genders have antlers, which are made of bone and grown annually.

In the summer and fall, you cannot identify a reindeer as a "he" or a "she" without further investigation. In late December, however, only the females still have their antlers.

During the summer months, the males use their antlers to attract females and defend their harem (anywhere from five to 15 females) from other males. When they are no longer "looking for love," the males lose their antlers. The females, on the other hand, keep theirs through the winter and into the spring, and use them to compete for food and to protect their young.

The only reindeer with antlers at Christmastime are the GIRLS, Abby. So Rudolph would have been appropriately named "Rudolphia," and the other reindeer would have been laughing and calling HER names until the glow from HER nose guided Santa's sleigh that foggy Christmas eve. -- JOYCE CAMPBELL, PH.D.

DEAR DR. CAMPBELL:

Fascinating. This clearly explains why Santa doesn't get lost at Christmas. Females are never reluctant to ask for directions ... ho, ho, ho!!!

Hear Ye, Hear Ye.........

2009-12-14T13:37:00.000-08:00

I AM ONE OF THE WINNERS OF THE TSHIRT HELL WISHLIST CONTEST!!!! which means now I can get me 2 more.....yes, that's TWO more!......completely offensive 'n officially obnoxious rude 'n crude totally FREE tee shirts!!

Wow, I'm freakin' ecstatic! What MORE could a bitch ask for?

The North Poll

2009-12-12T16:28:00.000-08:00

I've gotta lil' holiday poll goin' on over to the left of yer screen...

<--------------------------------------------------------

so I'd really appreciate it if ya'd help me out by votin'.

It's all in good fun, kids....all in good fun.

And NO, the best answer does NOT getta prize (sheesh, dontcha'll get ENUFF gifts at Christmastime for crissake? My goodness, what greedy lil' suckers we are!!)

Funky Stuff

2009-12-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

I hadda stop at the supermarket on the way home from work yesterday but that's one thing that I dread doin' 'n I ain't very good at. I tend to go into "overload mode"...a kinda anxiety more or less....'n I have a terrible habit of freezin' up inside the store with notta notion as to what I want or need....even tho I make a list 'n have it in hand prior to my arrival.

Anyway, there I was, solemnly strollin' thru the aisles, feelin' my anxiety level risin' above 'n beyond its normal limit 'n desperately callin' my son every 4 minutes or so to ask him what we needed (which was completely useless I might add). As usual 'n as I felt the pressure mountin', I quickly halted mid-aisle while my eyes welled up 'n my brain was kickin' around a zillion or so thoughts as to why I should just leave the cart right then 'n there 'n just walk out the friggin' door....until I regained my composure 'n headed on over to the meat department.

Not knowin' what the hell I was gonna cook that night (and yes, I actually DID cook last night altho it turned out to be a night of my makin' just some quickie cube steak sandwiches w/sauteed onions 'n cheese) I began to peruse the meat case....'n some o' what I saw made me absolutely nauseous. I just can't believe that people really eat some o' the shit that this lowlife store actually sells, such as this:

and this:

and this:

I took 3 additional pictures after these 3 but by that time my head was spinnin' 'n my hands were shakin' so they all came out too blurry to post. I mean, this shit is just plain ol' nasty. There was cow tongue (complete with taste buds 'n all); pig snout (which needed some of its nose hairs plucked I might add); a huge package o' chicken hearts (which I SWEAR were still slightly beatin'); some good ol' trusty livers (the very same ones yer Momma used to make ya eat for iron buildup when ya were just a kid); somebody's goddamn kidneys; and some other weird lookin' stuff that looked like somebody's intestines were just gutted 'n packaged up 'n plopped right up on the store shelf. I thought I was gonna barf.

Now, I realize that there's all kinda weird-ass stuff sittin' on store shelves that all different kindsa people eat, but at least they're all packaged up inside a box or a can or somethin' so that ya don't gotta actually look at the shit as yer strollin' by. But the meat department don't ever put any kinda shade on THEIR shit.....they just wind some damn plastic wrap around that crap 'n slap a label on it 'n put it out there for the whole wide world to view.

But I'd really rather not, Foodtown, so thank ya very much anyway.

So now what I'd really like to know is what kinda weird shit y'all have spotted while food shoppin' so whenever ya getta chance, lemme have it (well, not literally now......YUCK!).

Get $25 from my online investing broker

2009-12-01T16:16:00.001-08:00

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1 last T-Day pic

2009-11-27T16:49:00.000-08:00

Jeez, this kid is always the quietest one 'n the best behaved in the whole damn bunch, as well as bein' the most enjoyable kid that anyone would EVER wanna have, that I completely forgot to include this pic of him with the last bunch o' pics from yesterday's Thanksgiving dinner:

He's very camera shy so it took some warmin' up on his part just to get him to turn 'n face me, but I sneaked in this pic of him from behind. He thinks he's a big boy 'n he loves to dress "like a real biker", so I hadda humor him with a HD leather, jeans 'n cap last year for Christmas:

He insisted on wearin' a pair o' my old sunglasses for this pic, so I decided to let him have 'em. Once I finally got him to turn around he said he was gonna blow kisses to everyone in the pic (some tough biker dude HE is, huh?) 'n so he did:

Isn't he just precious?

Thanksgiving Day Pics

2009-11-27T09:01:00.000-08:00

Hello 'n a belated happy T-Day to all. Been nuthin' really much to post about since my last visit here altho today I do have a couple o' pics to post from yesterday's family feast:

This is Clara, the newest member of our family 'n one of my Dad's full time aides. She also took extremely good care of my Mom, may she rest in peace, when the Alzheimer's got to be too much for my Dad to handle. Clara lead us all in the table blessing yesterday. One tough bird that Clara is. We all just love her to death.

This here is a pic of the handsome men in my life: my Dad, my older bro Paul (the just off-duty cop) & my younger bro Dave.

My ONLY nephew, Danny (and I've got NO nieces either.....I reckon one could say that my two bro's ain't as fond of donatin' to the family gene pool as their sister was) and Dave's wife, Sherry.

My very first glass o' wine....or ANY alcohol for that matter.....in 25 fuckin' years. Wouldn't ya know it but my smart-ass son just HADDA come sneak up behind me 'n snap a pic of me with a half full wine glass in hand. I reckon he wanted to keep it as a remembrance of the day he's ever seen his mother drink. Even my daughter Jess commented about how in her 25 years on this earth she's never known me to drink ....so yesterday was a first for ALL. But would ya believe that I drank 2 glasses of that stuff yesterday 'n I didn't even getta damn buzz? WTF???? I can't get high off ANYTHING anymore for crissake!

My youngest daughter, Jessica. For the life o' me I just never gotta chance to retaliate by snappin' a sneaky pic of my son.

My brothers' wives, Sherry & Clare. They are the closest thing I've ever had to havin' sisters o' my very own, and thankfully they do it wonderfully.

And that's about it for now, folks. See ya back here sooner or later!

The prodigal Son Returns.....Again

2009-11-22T12:45:00.000-08:00

My dear 35 year old son Billy surprised me with an unexpected visit today. I knew he had gotten out 2 days ago cuz he called me on my cell while I was at work. Even tho the number that popped up on my phone was unknown to me I still answered....which is somethin' that I normally NEVER do with unknown numbers....so I reckon we can simply chalk that one up to good ol' mother's intuition. It was good seein' him again tho after all this time. He's much thinner than I remember, which is also abnormal...cuz most times men have a tendency to bulk up when they're "away" for long periods of time. Anyway, he didn't have his woman or the baby with him this time around cuz apparently my 9 month old 23 pound grandson has outgrown his current car seat...so my son was on his way to purchase a new one for him. I saw a few cell phone pics of the baby and he's huge! Billy said he was dressed as "The Hulk" for Halloween, which after lookin' at those pics, is extremely fitting if ya ask me.

So now I'm just glad that he got out in time for the holidays, and I'm just hopin' that he'll STAY OUT from this day forward. I know that some of ya who have followed me in the past with my now defunct DD diaries have heard me say this about him time after time ('n after time again!), but all I can do is pray that it comes true. Maybe now that he has a woman in his life whom he really loves deeply 'n who ain't just a side ho for him, not to mention the fact that he now has a son of his own, it'll come to be. Besides, he's just too damn old to still be playin' that street-shit game.

But we shall see.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Service for Maryanne

2009-11-21T13:57:00.000-08:00

Maryanne Bibbo's funeral service will be held on Tuesday, November 24, 2009 from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 noon at Camelot Funeral Home, Stevens Avenue, Mt. Vernon, NY. A portion of her ashes will be divided between her husband and her daughter with the remains to be laid to rest at Ferncliff Cemetary.

Rest in peace my dear sweet friend.

Jimmy & Maryanne Bibbo on their wedding day, October 24, 2008.

Rest in peace, Maryanne......

2009-11-17T09:13:00.000-08:00

Another (2) Death(s) in The Bowels

One of these two slain women was my close personal friend, Maryanne. She was found yesterday afternoon in a car between two abandoned houses. This was all over the t.v. on News 12 Westchester last night but I had no clue it was her. I found out early this mornin' on my way to work, which I left very early today.

Maryanne recently married another close friend of mine, Jimmy....a guy I dated lotsa years ago, but the three of us always remained close to this very day. I first met Maryanne approximately 13 years ago at the school where her now estranged daughter 'n my 17 year old son attended pre-k. My youngest daughter stood up for them in their wedding last year and as it turned out I was the only guest who actually showed up....altho many others were invited to their sweet civil ceremony at the courthouse. I was pissed to say the least. I'm even more pissed today....as well as extremely saddened by this horrific news.

The rumored details of her sudden death are extremely gruesome 'n I won't go into 'em now. Nothin' has been confirmed as of yet but I'm pretty darn sure in the next few days we'll know more. But I dunno if I WANNA know more. I'm havin' a hard time dealin' with this as it is.

Whatever the case may be 'n whatever the circumstances may have been immediately prior to her bein' killed, Maryanne didn't deserve this.

NOBODY does.

I hope they fry this motherfucker....'n I hope I'll have the opportunity to view it.

'Splain it to me gently

2009-11-14T14:31:00.000-08:00

Maybe I'm missin' a few screws up in the ol' headlamp or maybe I'm just dumb as shit to begin with but there's somethin' that's been gnawin' at me lately and for as hard as I might try I still just don't get it. It's somethin' that makes absolutely NO sense to me {similar to the 95 outta 100 other things in life that make absolutely no sense to me but what the hell....I can't write about 'em ALL now, can I!} so I'm askin' the bloggin' community to explain it to me "like I'm a 2 year old".

I just don't understand why some bloggers will go 'n write a post about somethin', then of course they'll getta bunch o' comments from other bloggers who have just read that post, then the original blogger/poster will go 'n reply to somethin' that the other bloggers have commented on in that same post. Now, why do they do that? It just don't make any sense to me 'n it really bothers the hell outta me {as do the 99 outta 100 other things in life that really bother the shit outta me but what the hell....I'm sure ya don't wanna hear all about those now, do ya?}.

But do ya get what I'm sayin'?

I mean, if I've gone 'n read somethin' in somebody's blog 'n I've left a comment there for 'em 'n then the original blogger/poster replies to MY comment with a comment of his/her own underneath the comment that I've already left in their blog, how the hell am I gonna know about it? I'm sure not gonna getta email notification that the original poster left a comment about MY comment in his/her own blog, so I'll never know what his/her comment was to MY comment, right? I mean, if I've already read the post 'n I've already left a comment, why would I go back a second time around 'n read the same post possibly expectin' to see a comment that the original poster may or may notta left for me about MY comment? WHY?

NOW do ya get it?

Okay, maybe I haven't explained myself clearly enuff. Lemme try this:

Wouldn't it be better for the original poster to reply to my comment in MY blog so that I'd at least getta email notification that its there? Wouldn't that make more sense? Or maybe not....maybe I'm completely wrong here. Maybe I just ain't got this bloggin' thing down as good as I thought I did.

I dunno. On second thought, maybe I AM missin' a few screws 'n maybe I AM dumb as shit.

So can ya 'splain this to me please? AM I missin' somethin' here?

Grandson's Pics

2009-11-13T13:11:00.000-08:00

Ladies 'n gents, please allow me to introduce my now 7 year old grandson, Nickolas Anthony:

Ta da!

Yep, the downed website that I have all my pics stored at (freakin' Fileave) finally came back up again.

NOTE TO CHESSIE: I took yer advice 'n I downloaded Picasa and yer right....that site is AMAZIN'! Since I had lost all the pics I had stored on my computer due to this new harddrive, when Fileave finally came back up I quickly went over there and transferred every pic back onto my computer. Once there, Picasa took right over 'n neatly tucked 'em all into their pretty new Picasa beds. Now alls I gotta do is figure out how to actually use the rest of the program (which is a LOT to learn I might add) 'n I'll be good. So thanx one last time Chess.

Now, back to my Nickolas Anthony...

Nicky is my first born grandbaby. He lives in Virginia with his mom 'n dad...my daughter 'n son-in-law. They were lucky enuff to escape The Bowels a long time ago 'n have been down there for many years now. I used to be able to take an early July ride out there 'n see 'em all (just in time for his birthday on the 6th 'n my daughter's on the 14th) but for the past few years I haven't been able to make it :-( due to a lack o' finances 'n a couple o' medical problems here 'n there.

I also have another grandbaby, my son's son, William Anthony (we are just a-Anthony-lovin'-family...let's not forget my youngest son who's first name is the same), who's still just a tiny lil' tot. He lives right here in The Bowels with his mom altho I hardly ever get to see either one of 'em. However, seein' as tho my son is soon gonna be comin' home from {uh hum} "college", I'm hopin' all that's gonna change. From what I've been told, the 19th of this month is his release date. From there he goes to a kinda halfway house for a bit. Dunno for how long but it'll probably be best. Now that he's 35 'n has gotta kid of his own, I'm hopin' this stint will be his last 'n final. I couldn't even count how many years we've been goin' on without him, all due to his hard-headed stupidity.

So there ya have it...just another sneak-peak into the life of MeanDonnaJean.

Dearly Departed

2009-11-10T15:08:00.000-08:00

I'm so pissed again today and rightly so too, cuz for the past 8 days or so I ain't been able to log into/get any kinda access to the website where I normally upload/store all my pics. I dunno what the hells been goin' on with 'em lately but now it's gettin' real old.

Years ago I hadda account with Village Photo, but with me bein' the cheap broke-ass bitch that I am I hadda kill that idea when they decided to start chargin' folks for storage. What? *I'M* gonna pay $5 a month to store a few pics atta website? Yeah, riiight. I ONLY do the freebie websites thank u very much (perhaps which is WHY I always have such problems?).

So after much searchin' 'n hemmin' 'n hawin' 'n bitchin' 'n moanin' I went over to this new place called Ripway, a fine freebie website hostin' thing-a-ma-jig where it took me forever 'n a day to finally get all my stuff transferred over there. The only bitch about that place was that if ya didn't log into the website every 30 days or so ya'd lose yer account (meanin' ya'd lose all yer stored shit). I reckon I don't gotta tell ya what happened with THAT one, do I?

However, BEFORE the day came when Ripway decided to send all my stuff into cyber limbo I happened to see an ad at their site for ANOTHER freebie place called File Ave....which was the same kinda website with the same 30 day rule....and so very intelligently I might add I signed up over there. And somehow, very mysteriously, with just a couple o' clicks o' the mouse I was able to very quickly duplicate most of my pics over at this new File Ave site. It was amazin'! So when Ripway kicked me out at least I had backup pics atta different website, which mostly worked each 'n every time I went there. Only today (and yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before, etc. etc.) it AIN'T workin', so a lotta good THATS doin' me....freebie or not.

And so that's where I am today. But then earlier today it hit me....why not just go back to Ripway, make a brand new account under a different name 'n then maybe with just another couple o' clicks o' the mouse I can once again duplicate all my pics over there 'n then I can store 'em at BOTH websites so that whenever ONE website is not workin' I'll still have the OTHER! So off I went to Ripway. Once I got there I excitedly clicked the "sign up" button 'n then I waited. Do ya wanna know what happened next? NUTHIN'....I watched that damn "page load" button go round 'n round 'n round 'n round 'n round, just like what's been happenin' over at File Ave for the past 8 days. Yep, absolutely NUTHIN' happened. I couldn't sign up, upload, log in, download, log out or even pass the hell out from all my frustration.....cuz the two fuckin' websites are RELATED! Who the hell KNEW? (but I really shoulda hadda clue).

So now it looks like ALL of my precious pics are dearly departed/MIA/on hiatus or whatever ya wanna call it.....'n I just dunno how long its gonna go on like that. Alls I know now is that I can't show y'all my brand new pic of my grandson in VA :-( and he's soooo darn cute, too! :-)

So in the meantime I'm searchin' online yet again for ANOTHER freebie web hostin' photo thingy place where I can hopefully transfer my OLD stuff to a NEW site 'n where I can possibly KEEP 'EM THERE for the duration.

Anybody got any suggestions? I'm all ears (or eyes)......

When?

2009-11-04T15:09:00.000-08:00

Okay ladies (& I reckon some of you gents out there as well), listen up. I wanna know exactly how many of ya out there may have tried Wen Hair Care products Wen by Chaz Dean as well as which products ya bought, where ya bought 'em from, how much it cost ya and how well it worked for ya....

...and then I wanna know WHEN yer gonna stop payin' such close attention to all those stupid late-nite infomercials 'n WHEN yer gonna stop payin' out all yer hard-earned money for all those classic rip-offs we see on t.v.!

Okay. Stick a fork in me. I'm done.

Crime Doesn't Pay......

2009-10-31T17:26:00.000-07:00

......but apparently, it cost The Bowels $3 million, which to my non-accounting-educated-self, is a helluva lot.

But hey, we roll like that....just cuz we CAN.

You see, we here in The Good Ol' Bowels of Hell New York a/k/a Mount Vernon NY a/k/a Mt. Vermin NY have watched the number of gunfire fatalities amongst our young people outnumber the amount of months that they took place. If I am correct I believe we are currently at our 14th fatality of the year, all of which occurred during the last 10 months, or somethin' like that. If I'm not spot on with the exact numbers then I'm damn near close, that I know for sure.

So in order to respond to those outrageous numbers that just keep on goin' and growin' our fear not fearless county leader has come up with a brand new surefire spitfire idea called The ShotSpotter. You can read all about it here:

Snag-A-Slug

Apparently the damn thing actually WORKS too....for, as ya just read, it just DID. Its wee-mock-ah-bull!

And now YOU can be the next one on yer block to have yer very own ShotSpotter too! Alls ya gotta do is start blowin' each other away at the drop of a hat. Yes folks, it's THAT SIMPLE!

Dontcha just WANT ONE NOW?

Halloween Horror

2009-10-31T13:08:00.000-07:00

I thought I was gonna have a nice quiet evening tonite as I normally do on Halloween where its just me 'n my son 'n how tonite we were gonna sit down to a nice hot pot o' homemade chili that I slapped into the crockpot first thing this mornin' and oh by the way yes I'm cookin' tonite AGAIN thank you very much but anyway how after dinner we were simply both gonna go 'n do our own quiet lil' thing as usual while we ignore all the lil' shithead kids who may come a-knockin' at the door beggin' for treats cuz thankfully and I mean that sincerely our doorbell has been outta order for a couple of years now 'n besides that most of the candy that I bought for Halloween belongs in MY stomach 'n not THEIRS but apparently thats NOT gonna be the case at all cuz earlier this afternoon the kid asked if "just a couple" of friends could come over tonite 'n when I asked him "how many is just a couple" he responded with a "oh just Jeffrey & Glyndon & Dimitrius & maybe Ebony & her sister Amina &..." when I stopped him right then 'n there in his trax he proudly proclaimed "well at least Anthony ain't comin' cuz ya KNOW how much you HATE him" and how soooooo right he is about THAT 'n how its now 4:30 p.m. 'n I can hear that 2 of that handful of flamin' freaks is already sittin' in my livin' room actin' all silly 'n such 'n how I only made enuff chili for me 'n the kid so those freakish fools are just gonna have to dig deep in their holey pockets 'n come up with some kinda cash so they can at least order a pizza or somethin' for themselves cuz I'll be damned if *I'M* gonna feed 'em or pay for their damn food just cuz their Mommas don't give a rats ass if they ever getta damn hot meal or not 'n how even tho they just recently got here 'n how more are still expected to arrive the only thing on my mind is just how much longer am I gonna have to tolerate THIS shit tonite cuz I'm already irritated enuff but at least they're fairly quiet right now but all that'll change once Ebony gets here cuz SHE'S the LOUDEST 'n MOST OBNOXIOUS of 'em all but I still like the kid even tho she needs a good slap upside the head every now 'n then but don't MOST teenagers these days but then I'm thinkin' that all in all I'm pretty damn lucky cuz I've gotta pretty good kid who hangs out with a group of other pretty good kids even tho they ARE a lazy damn bunch who ain't got but one job between the six or so of 'em and IF we can even forget the fact that how a couple o' years ago my kid DID get arrested at age 15 for shopliftin' $600 some-odd-plus-dollars worth of GROCERIES and PLEEEEEZE don't even ASK me how the fuck ANYONE can load up a shoppin' cart with THAT amount of fuckin' items but it all makes sense cuz he WAS with those 3 low-life sister-bitches 'n their GASP! lil' 3 year old baby brother GASP! all of whom used to live across the street from us 'n how glad I am that THEY soon got evicted when their Momma got busted for drugs 'n for ho'in herself on 241st St. in The Bronx and how I just realized I got WAAAAAAY off track here with this post but what the hell I reckon I just hadda vent it all out anyway so anyway that's the story of how MY Halloween 2009 is shapin' up to be 'n how I'm sure I'll be back here tomorrow or sometime later than that to bitch about the rest of my nite with this maniacal group of misfit goblins Lord gimme strength or Mick gimme shelter or Bob gimme shelter from the storm or SOMEBODY gimme SOMETHIN' for my last nerve cuz Lord knows I'm gonna need it after tonite A-freakin'-men.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd speakin' of Amen......did I mention how some 23-year-old butt-naked crazy-ass bitch stood in front of a church here in The Bowels of Hell with her 5 month old son, lifted him over her head and slammed him down on the sidewalk 3 fuckin' times yesterday? Oh YES honey, see for yerself.......

Hang The Bitch

NOW do ya see WHY I call this dump The Bowels of Hell?

Typical Mount Vermin.

Comment Approval

2009-10-30T14:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm back with another Blogger bitchfest. After the day *I* had today between my fuckhead doctor 'n our local pussy pharmacy 'n a couple of young asshole female bitches who like to refer to themselves as "doctor's nurses" but who really ain't nuthin' but lil' girls playin' dress-up in cartoon printed scrubs, be thankful that's ALL I'm bitchin' about. So get ready cuz here I go:

What IS IT with this comment approval bullshit for certain blogs? Lemme see now, WHOSE blog did I just come from where my comment needed to be "approved" by the blogger himself/herself/itself? Well now, ain't that just great. I can't freakin' remember. It was only a minute or so ago but I reckon I'm still twisted over what transpired earlier this afternoon while standin' inside the pharmacy 'n screamin' into my cell phone at the dumb bitch in my doctor's office who has a bad fuckin' habit of quickly puttin' me on HOLD every damn time I call there 'n who dunno her ass from her own friggin' elbow. I've been dealin' with these idiotic morons since Wednesday so I'm on my last nerve with them.

And then to top off my already unpleasant afternoon quite nicely, I hadda run into a couple/two/three people here who insist on "approvin'" any damn comment that may come their way which was just the icin' on the cake. And altho ya may have noticed that I've been fairly quiet here as of late, well, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer.

So tell me. Please. What's with the need to snuff out somebody's comment that may be left here for ya? Whaaaa, if ya don't like what somebody's gotta say ya just prevent it from bein' printed in yer blog? Or is it more like ya just feel like pickin' 'n choosin' what ya may or may not wanna share the somethin' that somebody mighta said at yer blog with the entire bloggin' community? I just don't get it. Why allow comments at all if yer gonna "approve" some but not others? Do ya do it to prevent yerself from gettin' yer feelin's hurt? To save face? Or is it to prevent any of yer enemies from spillin' the REAL beans about ya? Lord knows there must be a dozen or so other excuses as to WHY somebody would do that but I'll be damned if I can think of any more right at the moment.

Well, I'd love to stick around 'n cut ya down some more but I just can't keep my eyes open any longer. I'm noddin' as if I just shot 10 bags of some killer-ass dope (no such luck dammit). I'm tired, I'm literally full of piss 'n therefore I'm jumpin' up from the computer like every 10 minutes on the minute to go take a wicked leak thanx to those damn Lasix pills I've gotta take...and yes I'm also full of shit most times too, both literally 'n figuratively I might add, but they just don't make a laxative strong enuff for MY always irregular fat ass no thanx to those pitiful pharmaceutical companies; and besides all the medical bullshit I dealt with today I also hadda crrrraaaaaaazy day at work.

So, until the next moment of madness hits, MeanDonnaJean is over 'n out.

And speakin' of out, cut out that damn comment approval bullshit, will ya? It fuckin' annoys the shit outta me.

But like my co-worker always says:

"What DOESN'T fuckin' annoy the shit outta ya, Donna? Is there ANY thing at all that ya WON'T bitch about?"

And like *I* always say right back at him:

"Nnnnnnope".